My 2006 site is still coming along, but I noticed a very concerning flaw in my execution that I am glad I discovered in advance…. it all has to do with layout and frames… ugh. Now, I used to be excellent at design and had a lot of advanced skills. But, there have been more advancements in web then I have kept up with and not in the mood to pic up a whole new coding regiment.

Anyway, I have figured a way around it and will be on-time with delivery of the site. I think it will be way cool.

I built profiles for some of my peeps who I talk about a lot in the diary and encourage all of you/them to give me feedback. It’s totally basic with a pic and a name and a birth sign… blah blah blah.

Do you ever do searches on Google with various words that only may make sense to yourself? Image searches are what I mean. I did one today on “idiot” because I wanted to insert something funny and stupid on this entry because it’s just how I feel right now. Well… I saw a pic of a guy in a woman’s lacey thing with his dick in the exhast pipe of an SUV and he was smiling. Uhm… I couldn’t even do it. I was just … nauseated.

I look a pics of hot guys all the time with it because that is fun. For some reason I was compelled to put in “Persian Boys” and ended up looking at a series of picnic pictures of dorks at M.I.T. … Persian Student Association. At least one of them was hot anyway. I looked through them and amused myself (no that way) for 5 minutes.

I even looked up “Johnny Knoxville” because I found a pic from his new movie “Ringer” that was showing some dick. So, I figured there has to be naked pics of Knoxville out there and everything I saw was totally G/PG … bitches.

google is the coolest. No wonder those fuckers are so rich and all their people so fucking happy. I used “fuck” twice in the same sentence. I am a moron.

Also note that I have not heard from Gary in such a long time. I should e-mail him. Then again, I have not inserted much Drama in my diary that makes it sound like I am about the Thelma/Louise it into the Grand Canyon.

Poop

Last night when I left work I was in an absolute state of anger. I let some ass get up my nose and then I really got more and more frustrated with the drive home. This was one of thise nights that people should start drinking over. I was a mess until I got some food in my gut… then I started mellowing.

Yes, I am still dieting and wishing I could see instant results. I waiver a bit, but have maintained the course for the most part. Like right now… I wanted to eat something sweet and just eye-balled the vending machine in the hall. There are these new candy bars called “Take 5” and though the chocolate is Hershy-crap it does taste very good. It has a salty pretzel running through the center with caramel and… yum… anyway, I had a Cliff Bar instead. Yeah for me.

Anyway, so I get home last night and Adolfo’s mom has made Papusas. I ate 2 of them in spite of all the fat in them. Yummers!

So, I woke up late this morning and had coffee with Rosa. She only has a little because of her blood pressure or something like that. I figured I would be spending my pre-work day with her and went to shower. I come out of the shower and SHE is gone as well as all her stuff. Everything… not even a notion she was there.

I called Adolfo and then later his sister calls me telling how she rushed Rosa out. They had apparently gone to the Wynn where Adolfo works and had lunch or something… before heading back to Whittier. Ugh!

So, now I sit at work on another lovely Sunday evening waiting for 11 when I can escape. Cheers for now… xo

The new version of UrielsLantern will be going live in December! It’s coming together so naturally that it is amazing. I have some little details to hammer out… the biggest differences will be how some of the material is presented. Photo albums will be virtually the same. Why reinvent the wheel? Unless I can find a metter means of presenting them.

I would put all my pics on Flickr.Com, but you cannot customize the galleries over there. I would want it to fit into the general feeling of the site! It’s nice when you can use an awesome tool like Flickr and make it seemless as well as cross-promote it.

…… Rosa arrived last night, but as it turns out she is only staying through tommorrow. We went through a lot of my cooking magazines and I showed here a lot of the stuff I have been saving. It is amazing how well her and I click. I noticed she has a very different personality than Adolfo. He is very picky when it comes to food and his mom is very open minded. I have made a lot of headway in broadening his tastes over time.

Well, Christmas is coming and we are already gearing up. Just over a month away and counting. For my fans, don’t forget me. My X-Mas List is at my 2nd Blog. I have been keeping my wish list updated and current. So fear not… most items are avaiable on the web and can be delivered by the fine folks at USPS or UPS.

Cheers!

My 2006 web site is coming a long better than I imagined. I got some custom art work in the mail the other day I added this morning and it is awesome. I will be looking for some key scripts and stuff to make it bigger and better.

Tonight, Adolfo’s mother is coming to stay with us for an undetermined amount of time. It will sets me on edge a little as I am uncomfortable having to adjust my surroundings to accommodate people, but truthfully I love Rosa and I know how much she wants to be close to Adolfo so there is no question about her being welcome.

We bought a new bed for her to sleep on and my office got ejected to the bedroom. Oddly enough, I like it better this way. Adolfo did some rearranging of the apartment too. Partially to make the place more manageable, bit also because we need a place for the x-mas tree when it is time to put that up.

Thanksgiving is on the horizon and we are throwing open the doors for guests… so it will be interesting who shows up and how it goes. I will always have pictures as this menu comes into shape. I am looking at a southern style menu with a little opulence and style to it. Should be so cool! Of course, I’ll be posting it and all the recipes!!!!

Look at this! I found this web site for a movie called Archangel showing on BBC six months ago.. this is a book I read and loved it!!!! Daniel Craig, the new James Bond, starred in it! I will be hunting for this in DVD!!!!

As usual, lots of thoughts popping around inside my head and little action. I want to get life rolling for me once again and this may involve some other big changes for me… I am seriously considering another school venture… in China!

Scott 2006 is coming alive! I had gone down a whole road of configuring, setting up and making art for the new 2006 site featuring meeeeeeeeeeeeeee and after the last couple of blogs I decided that I had to go a new direction. This version is all black, dark, moody. Basically depressing… while the all new me is going to be bright, brilliant, and new.

I made a list of my cds. I made my book list.. blah blah blah. But, now I want to make a whole series of new attractions and images that I hope will make the site POP! I am going to add my Sirus stuff as well as other interesting new features to keep you bitches coming back!

Plus, I’ll be using the Blog for more pics than what I will put into my gallery so pics and text go hand in hand more. I want to put some profiles of people I blog about and with to add new dimention to my gallery to include a picture and some background. So Allan and Brian(Chicago) might object and I hope they won’t. But, I think this will be really cool. Can I count you in Gary?

This should be cool… I hope you agree!

Scott

This is the cake I made Kenny for his birthday. He had been bugging me about a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting for 2 years and I finally delivered. Naturally I had to make it my way as I am not very fond on homestyle.

None the less, I made the icong fluffy looking and built up fresh shavings of chocolate. It looks very nice, I think. I always look at it after and begin figuring ways I could have made it better. As I nibbled on a bit of it today… because the damn thing is still in my friggin’ fridge… I could have made it Italian style and it would have been so much nicer. His birthday was the 1st and we had dinner on the 2nd together.

I had made a nice dinner. This is Me, Kenny, and BrianLV. He got some bad food poisoning from his birthday dinner the night before while he was out with some of this other friends. In spite of being nausiated he ate everything and more! He hates green vegetables so there was not a single vegie in site for this meal

• Steaks
• Red Skin Mash Potato
• Herb Biscuits

It was a nice evening and I suspect he will thoroughly enjoy his birthday gift. Care to guess what it was? A HUGE bottle of Grey Goose!

Is it me or does Kenny look peekid? Ha ha ha ha! Adolfo was in command of the camera. Happy Birthday!

In the light of my uncly Ed I am radiating with positive energy. See my previous post? Is anyone seeing my previous posts? I am hoping by displaying a new image that my site will start generating some new visitors.

I am currently assembling my 2006 UrielsLantern site and am considering choosing a new domain name for it as well. What do you think I should do? I have the basic theme in place and a couple of the pages. I will try and expand on the content so it is more interesting to people and more engaging.

Maybe I should make user profiles for the people I talk about in this diary… Sam, Terry, Brian (Chicago), BrianLV, Kenny, Allan, Keith, Adolfo and Tom… with pictures and stuuuufff. Chippy, Ian, George (Melbourne) and Gary (Nebraska). Uncy Ed, Mom, Dad, Rae-Rae and …. and … hmmm?

I have always used my Diary as a means of venting and excising some of the demons in my own soul. It’s also a place where I can share the positive things I can offer friends, family, and sometimes people I have never met before. I have always hoped that someone might discover this diary and say… “this idiot has the same problems I have” or something like that.

Problems? Well, Issues??? Disfunctions? Delusions?

I am 40 years old. Most of my life I thought I had all the secret ingredients to the world. I thought I knew things people generally did not know. I thought that I was unlike anyone else.

BUT, the older I get the more I start realizing how I am everything opposite of that last paragraph. If it is wisdom or insanity I cannot say.

I have a secret I have told no one. Not a single person on this earth. I have one secret that I have often tried to share… but I recently discovered that there are about 2 dozen people on the web who claim to have the same secret. Keep in mind this is something that would have to be, in my perception, unique.

It only proves that me, like most other people, are so deluded into ourselves. I realize how much the same we all are in the big picture.

What makes me special, now? I know where I am going psychologically and spiritually; I live to be self-actualized. It makes me ambitious and abrasive. I see through lies like Saran wrap and I feel love very powerfully toward people around me; as well as anger. I hate to alienate good hearted people because they could if they mistake my frankness for cruelty.

xo

I’m not feeling very philosophical. Neither do I feel complacent. I have been thinking about friends of mine again, wondering how people are. I think about Terry and the stuff he is doing in some city in the middle of California… not one of those romantic shoreline cities, but in one of those places you hear about that’s on a road going somewhere.

This weekend is the NY Marathon and Chippie will probably be running in it. I have not seen him on-line, so he has probably been out running to prepare. Sleeping to prepare. I am so jealous.

Someone at work went to Buffalo, NY and brought back pictures and I thought about Ian. He lives in Rochester, but the cities are relatively close. It made me miss the North East. The North East has a character unlike anywhere else that embodies “Americana” (in my opinion) more than anywhere.

I also had a dream about Trish Kamminga… I dreamed I saw her walking across a foot ball field and I called out to her… she turned and around and did not recognize me right away. Then she finally did I told me I gained a lot of weight…. hmmm.

Dad asked me about another ghost from Scotters-Past… Eric. He was a year behind me in high school and dad though he was in my college grad pics from Culinary school… I said no, that was Keith.

I talked to ToplessEd (AIM screenname) for Holloweenie… 8″ minimum please… ha ha ha… and I miss him too. He is just the funniest.

When I leave LV I can hardly think of one person I will miss here. When I left L.A. I left Steven (who moved there from Boston) behind. In Boston I left Brian, Rick, Maureen and a whole cast and crew from Baja Cantina behind. Long Beach was where I broke my heart and left Ed, James, and John behind. I also left TVD and Todd A (another long story) behind.

If you’re reading this I bet you had pics to go along with all the names!!?!??!???!! Well, some of you know who you are.

I sound so melancholy now, huh?

I was talking to LVBrian today about my personality versus his BF… we are a lot alike in various ways. Key words include: selfish, self centered, impatient, temperamental, and occasionally impulsive. But, I also explained that people that know me and Adolfo tend to bond with Adolfo more because he is more lovable. I am abrasive, which tends to keep people from opening themselves up to me very much.

In their relationship, it seems to be very similar. Kenny is a pain in the butt and proud of it. Brian, a true Libra, is always trying to keep his Scorpio happy. Same with us except I am the domineering Capricorn and Adolfo is the somewhat passive Aquarian. Imagine this mix!?!?!?!

My point is that in spite of my personality flaws I feel I have bonded very closely with some people in my past that I miss to this day. Some have drifted off along a far road and others have let me go to wander my own road. I miss you guys…

I did it… I spent more money I should not have spent. I bought a Sirius Receiver which was on-sale for 129.00 then a 50.00 mail in rebate…. I thought I was getting a good deal. I had to buy installation which cost me $90.00 a,d then I had to buy the service which was 140.00 … Almost $400.00 later I have Satellite Radio!

I am just starting to explore it and I am not entirely impressed. The gay channel OutQ is boring as hell… all talk from dizzy drag-queens that provide as much content as a feather bola. The best thing I have heard so far is listeners calling in with their “Confessions” which provide some Jerry Springer level of humor.

I am looking through the whole media menu for something worth while… which I am sure I will. I will set all my presets and the new version of my site will certainly have an interesting menu!

Other news…. I amde a nice dinner for Kenny’s birthday. The cake was nice, but it could have been better! I made a 4 layer chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting (homemade style) for him… all from scratch. I think he liked it. I wil lbe posting a pic in a couple days!

For dinner I kept it simple in the true Kenny style. He hates green veggies so there was not a single one in sight. I made red skin mash potatoes, steaks, and some yummy freshly baked herb biscuits. Oh, I also make a veal sauce along with it. Yum.

So…. now I am planning Thanksgiving Day Turkey. I have to form a whole menu and get ready to serve it up! Stay tuned!

I am so tired. I want to lay down in the middle of a green forest and sleep in a big fluffy bed with a thick comforter and … nothing or no one else. Away from everything… everyone… silent, blissful. It would be Heaven.

So, I had this discussion with someone today. I have talents in a few areas and am fairly strong in all of them. Cooking. Computer Support. Web stuff… and other things. I have a mixed bag of passions: cooking, traveling, art, design, and sex. Is there a way to combine my skills into something I can be happy with and do with a clear conscious?

The discussion was really about having a path in life and how being skilled in a variety of genre is not really so good for the individual because it makes career paths and long term goals blur and get sketchy. When I was in high school and going forward I was going to be a model, I was going to be a famous fiction writer, I was going to be rich beyond all my dreams. When I got out of the military in 1989 I was going to still be a writer because I had no real skills I could bargain with in spite of my 6 years in the Air Force.

When I got out and started in the direction of Technology, I went to ITT for a while and was going to be a writer and tech guru at the same time. But, I was also going to be rich beyond my dreams and have to worry about nothing when I got older.

By then I had really started fucking up my credit and was getting no where special. I moved to Boston and started on a strong technical road as a support person and a technical trainer… which I brought back to L.A. with me through 2001.

The world blew up and I was looking for direction when I decided to explore one of my passions and I became a Chef. As my Chefy skills grew I longed for the Technical stuff and did that on the side along the way until in 2005 I changed teams and was back in IT again.

Well, IT has changed and in spite of my skills there are a lot of younger moppets thinking they know everything and I am left saying…”there for the grace of God go I”… funny, huh?

What now? Remaining introspective I find myself usually following my own tail in a never ending circle. The path of life has left me into a thick forest and I need to climb up to a higher path where trees are younger and not as souped together.

————————–

Sound goofy? I believe in something called the “Path of Life” and it is this literal interpretation of life I think most people can relate to this metaphor because it makes sense. Imagine life as a path through a moutainside pathway. Sometimes you’re faced with a cross in the path, a split path, or even a blocked path. All of ideals directly relate to life. You have to make the right choices that will determine the rest of your journey… or you must deal with the obstacle that is in the way before you can go forward.

Imagine having a block in the path? You have to spend time removing the dead tree from the path. That dead tree could represent a bad person in your life. It could represent that bounced check you have to pay off… anything.

Walking through a briar patch could be part of your journey.. which means you walk a hard path but you will get through it.. even with some scratches. But, you will be stronger in the end.

If you make your way along the wrong path you can never go back. Going backward is out of the question, you might as well try going back in time. What’s done is done.

You should not look back along the road you came from because you’re not moving forward.

Sometimes you can collect things along the way. Some things make the journey lighter, some make it heavier. The idea is to know what to dump along the way and what to keep. You will know quickly if you dumped the wrong thing… but you can’t go back again… it’s never the same or someone else has it now.

If the weather is bad it will pass, but it could make the road harder to travel. That too will pass. Wet weather could mean marriage troubles and the divorce or reconciliation that follows will be hard but there is always resolution if you face it. Refusing to face will only set you into the briar patch or even worse become a mountain of stones in your path… either way the journey really slows down… but time stands still for no one.

I have never experienced some of the literal predators in the journey… so much anyway. But they are out there. Imagine predators as people who would intersect with your journey and hold you back; an abusive lover or parent? Maybe something more frightening like a rape or death that retards your functions and holds you back? A robbery? A deceptive person who abused your trust?

All of these examples in the above could turn your path involuntarily or unwittingly driving you off your journey! How do you recover from that? Some people use a therapist and find a guardian for the travel … held strong with a good companion.

Since all of us are different and have various levels of endurance, patience, and fortitude the path is as individual as us. Yet, the barriers are the same… some bigger than others. For me, my perception is that the biggest weakness in the journey is the curious preoccupation with the person on the next path over. It’s either “the grass is always greener” competition or the moral indignation for issues that do not impact YOU or are none of YOUR personal business (some examples are but not limited to like Gay and Lesbian Issues… Transgender… Spoiled Children… Raising Children… Smoking Pot… whatever… ).

For each of us, our journey is to get from Point A to Point B… Birth to Death… without hurting anyone along the way. Having learned as much as possible because Point B is not the end, but a new beginning.

The greatest sin imposed on another person on their journey is to be a predator, to be indignant, to be stone in the road… people all have to explore life as much as possible.