I ended up canceling the truck I reserved for the move and am sitting pat for the moment. I don’t have the cash to make any big changes right now. I have deadlines though… in order to keep school I would have to be back in LV by 10/2. That’s half a month for me to get things wrapped up here.

Seems like a lot of people have shared their feelings about my decision making ability and choices I have made in life. Although there is little dispute in the wisdom of my choices… well, what’s done is done. I can only learn from them.

A 42 year old prolly should be making better decisions…

At this point I am trying to make a plan for myself. I keep trying to fit other peoples lives into my plan and I end up getting lost all over again. So, I think I am going to lye low for a while and see what happens.

“Give your life meaning today by truly feeling the beauty in every moment you live, dear Capricorn. There is no need to beat yourself up about the past, so move on. It also does no good to beat yourself up about the present. You are at the right place at the right time, so don’t waste your energy by thinking you should be somewhere else. There is plenty of fun and adventure to be had right where you are.”

So, in the last couple of days I talked a lot to Adolfo and to my mom and both of them are kicking me in the balls about our breakup. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Anyway, I am getting it from people that I am a selfish asshole who thinks of no one but myself.

On top of all this… I am planning on moving back to Vegas in the next couple weeks and am having trouble getting situated on the move. I have no money. So, someone tell me how this is gunna happen? oi vay????

That brings me to the horoscope listing of the day. Innnnnnnnteresting, huh?

“Today is your day, dear Capricorn, so don’t blow it. There is a great deal of positive energy coming your way, urging you to get moving. Live your dreams and don’t worry about the details. Set your intentions straight from the onset, and you will find that things you need just automatically fall into place. Go with the flow, and you won’t be led astray. There is a safety net of people waiting to catch you if you fall.”

Interesting horoscope today considering what is coming up. I rented a truck for the journey back to Vegas, but I don’t have the money to do it. All together this transition should cost me about 3000$ … yeah right. Moving and getting an apartment when I get there… oi vay.

Anyway, school is almost finished this quarter. Yeah me.

“Things may get a bit rough for you, dear Capricorn, during the next few weeks, especially in the department of love and romance. You are likely to find that adjustments need to be made in your behavior in order for you to sync up with the people around you. Your powers of adaptation will be put to the test, but this is certainly nothing that you can’t handle. Give your heart the respect it needs.“

WTF??????????????

I have not made a significant update since the date listed in the title. Since then my job prospects seem to have gone down the toilet – here in Portland – and Kiyo dumped me to go back to his ex. Turns out he was seeing his ex from time to time while we were seeing each other. I’m not mad about it, just bothered by it. So, I’ve been here for less than 3 months and have been dumped twice. It’s good for the soul… makes a tougher skin!

My dinner party went off very nicely this weekend. I flew to Vegas to cook for one of my clients and i was a significantly nice occasion. But, it was prolly the more expensive bbq’s anyone ever saw. I had to charge him for my air fare. Ugh!

The flight there went quite well, but the flight back was miserable. My reservation was jacked up and there was no flight for me when I arrived. I booked on another flight costing me an additional 100$ and from SFO to PDX the flight was delayed like 3 to 4 hours… at least Ihad a good dinner there. Chinese food.

Well, that’s it for now.

“You may be confused when you find yourself pulling away from something that you may have felt extremely confident about on a previous date. Remember, dear Capricorn, that it is always OK to change your mind at all times. Don’t feel like you need to follow through with something that you agreed to weeks ago. Circumstances have changed since then, and you should feel free to change your plans accordingly.“

Interesting…. my horoscope for today.

“Cupid has shot his arrow in your heart today, dear Capricorn, so snuggle up closely with the object of your desire. You will find yourself feeling more sensual and romantic than usual. Gourmet foods and fine wines should accompany you at the dinner table tonight. Realize that there may be an element of restraint that needs to get worked into the equation, but don’t let this stop you from having a good time.”

weird. Kiyo left today to go home after staying the night. We had a late night because we went to see Bourne Ultimatum on the latest show… my god it was good EXCEPT for the STUPID STUPID STUPID camera movement. That moron director had to be on crack the way he managed filming some of the most intense scenes. It was like the camera man was sitting in a jungle-gym and there were 40 kids jumping up and down all around him. Ugh!

So, why the word “weird”?

Well, Kiyo has been really sweet and I think he is getting into us being a “couple” as it were which is nice. I’m apprehensive only because I am still not working and I keep looking at my budget sinking into nothing. Ugh!

He’s also making me dinner tonight. I made dinner last night and all I had was some ground beef. I made patties and a peppercorn sauce with a mushroom ragout. He brought some tomatoes from his garden and some fresh Italian parsley and made a nice tomato salad with it. yum!

So I’ll grab some wine and hangout tonight. weird? Because this horoscope seems to be right on target again. This is just weird.

“Today is a fantastic day for you to take action, dear Capricorn. Your eagerness to strike out on new territory is being heightened by a drive to experience the new and unknown. Take an internal journey and see what kind of wonderful things you can discover. There is a tremendous strength inside you that does not always get a chance to show itself. This is the perfect day to prove your courage to the world.“

Above is my horoscope which I only just saw. Odd… and yesterday’s was concerning. But keep reading and see why this was so interesting.

Kiyo and I went out on the state today to look around at things and we ended up driving almost 8- miles away. We had lunch at the furthest point called Hood River. It was a good lunch and a good day. I had a burger with bacon and blue cheese. yum…

We went along the Columbia River that separates Oregon from Washington, but we were heading east. Kiyo wanted to show me some of the falls in the area, one of which is pictured. And, that is the river in the background. There were some beautiful sites, all nature, and it was a nice day of site seeing.

So, tonight we’re off to see Bourne Ultimatum. Yeah us!

“One of the important lessons of the day for you, dear Capricorn, is to remember that emotions are a powerful thing and that they should be recognized and honored. Do not discount your feelings. In fact, it is most important that you embrace them with your entire being. Once you relax and settle in to your true emotions, you will find that your mind is clear and that you can make conscious and rational decisions about whatever issues come your way.“

Well, this is confusing but I’m still a little puzzled? My horoscope for today…

“Adjustments may need to be made for you to relate well to people and situations today, dear Capricorn. Somehow things are a bit off kilter and you may find that the harder you try to fit in, the more you are apt to feel like an oddball. Try not to get caught up in other people’s battles and work to maintain a balance between real life and fantasy. Be careful that you don’t get so caught up in someone else’s world that you forget to deal with your own.”

This was my horoscope today… and this is exactly me. This is exactly my biggest social problem in Las Vegas, especially at my last job. You want to trust people and feel like you’re on the same team, but often you’re not. I consciously make an effort to separate myself from the dramas other people are making public. My last job made it very difficult, because people in my immediate area were always voicing their dramas about work and trying to rally people against other people. Gosh, I sit here thinking back and did not realize HOW MUCH people did that there. Oi Vay!

Speaking of which… I had a dream last night and the guy who was my bosses – boss was in my dream… (cold shiver).

ALSO on BofU.com… I still am getting the occasional jibes over my phone loss and my hand reaching into the abyss. Ew… shiver, cramp!