“It may be hard to go at your own pace, dear Capricorn, when you feel as if there are multiple sets of people moving in on your space and trying to get you to do things in a certain way or think in a certain direction. Your automatic response is to adapt to the situation and cater to everyone else’s agenda. This plan of attack may give you a nervous breakdown, however, when you find yourself being flung from one side of the arena to the other.“

I know this should make sense….

3285 Casey Drive #203
Las Vegas, NV 89120

So, I was torchuring Tom tonight with some bunny ears that were on clearance at Petsmart. God knows why I had to get them… but hell they were only $1.50. So, here are the pictures. I was laughing my ass off when he just sat there looking like he was absolutely miserable.

I have an account on 2ndLife.Com and this is my avatar. I changed him a lot since I first got him. I have modeled him after the angel Uriel… oh the surprise. In this shot he is in a bathhouse in 2nd Life. Yes, a bathhouse.

“If your confidence has taken a beating lately, today’s energy will go far in turning this around, dear Capricorn. Even if you feel like you’ve made too many mistakes, it’s time to forgive yourself and to move forward. If you feel like you’re a failure, this actually has a chance of becoming a reality. By allowing yourself to err and to keep on trying, there’s no room for such self-fulfilled prophecies to come true. Believe in yourself and keep going. Resist drowning in self-pity.”

Another insightful astrological precognition from the fine folks of MSN. No sarcasm included… but very interesting specifically in the circumstances I am experiencing right now.

Oh my hell…

“An unusual sense of determination could drive you to complete a long-term goal that could change your life in some way. Perhaps you are seeking a new job, or experimenting with non-traditional ways of earning a living. You are a natural healer, dear Capricorn, and today this talent could unexpectedly increase. This is also a great time to combine the arts with modern technology, perhaps in such fields as computer graphics or sound engineering.“

Interesting….!

After everything yesterday I find myself expereincing a lot of reflection. In fact, some might say I am looking back. What causes that is this… this year my outlook on WHO I am has been challenged often. In recent days I’ve been told by a few people that I am a self person who thinks only of himself. I’ve been told I am a mean person. I have been told I am responsible for drama. I’m not thinking of people around me and the results of my actions. All of these things combined … by the important people saying them … you might start looking for the 666 birthmark on me somewhere.

Look inside… is evil incarnate present?

Good morning world… evil here. I’m going to start by going by the pseudonym “Dr.Evil” … doctors get paid more. So, I present myself and open myself up to say that through all of this I can only be the best person I can be. If you find me harmful, then you’re probably best off without the persecution of my company.

Oh, that sounds sarcastic.

So, if I am evil incarnate then let this be my angel …

I found this picture as I was looking at some of my stuff. This is how I looked when I first met Adolfo in 1994ish… that pic in the background was from a magazine called Provacatuer. I liked that model. I was working for Los Angeles Cellular Telco back then. I think life was pretty good back then… I look so happy, bright, and trim.

I took these pics 5 minutes ago and looked at them… I look like dog shit. OMG look at how my eye lids are half-masted and the huge highway lines around my mouth. Good F’in Christ I look like hell.

“Do you want to explore new horizons, dear Capricorn? If you’re keen to plan a trip, you must first decide where and with whom you’ll go. Or, you might find that you want to adopt a new hobby or recreational activity. You could take up a new musical instrument, perhaps, or learn a new sport. You’re full of ideas and plans today, but it may be hard for you to flesh them out. Try to choose a single direction and follow through on it!“

I am thinking about driving up to Seattle for a day with Tom. I want to drop in on a few people I know up there. Chef Hoffmeister is up there, another guy I know, and another guy in Olympia. Just people I want to see.

One of them tried giving me advice last night on the phone. He says I should just cut off people like my mom and others who are making these demands on me. I’m thinking… “it’s my mom!” Well, he cut off his family and now feels like its what everyone else should do. I can’t wrap my head around that.

Gary posted a note in the previous entry (see comments) where he said I was over thinking everything. My God, all I can do is think about this stuff. I am officially overwhelmed and am drowning. Sinking…

Between all the words I am reeling and feel like I need to pull back – from everything. I want to be around friends, but I swear I am starting to seriously wonder what the hell that means. I have absolutely no one I can rely on.

It feels like NEARLY everyone has an agenda. Gary and Chippy all live far off and neither has ever had a hidden agenda with me. But they all live thousands of miles away. Deb has been herself and certainly there are other people, too. Kiady too… oh hell.

shit…. diarrhea