IF ANYONE is reading this at all… how do you like the changes? I am not completely finished yet. I want to add a menu at the top.

Meanwhile, Most of my web sites are now updated and all that leaves are my dad’s and my cooking sites. I just finished one for a local non-profit. You can see it on Achtung. Go to my web site section.

I’m too tired to thing about this much more… good fucking night I have a lot to do in the next two weeks.

I have now been single again for a year. Can’t say the experience has been rewarding… no not in the least. I am pretty sure if I had not met Adolfo when I did and that we had not been together before that it is likely I might not have met anyone here. The faults of guys seem magnified here. Men are always looking for something better. Men are afraid of commitment. Men play games and delude themselves and the people who care about them.

SOUNDS REALLY JADED, HUH???

Maybe it is, but I keep holding on to hope. JUST meeting someone you can feel close to and stand next to and know that person has your back is such a big deal when that person comes along. Call him friend or lover, but both in one is awesome. In Vegas I want to meet someone like that.

Guys here are either whores, work-a-holics, or whores. I know a guy here who has been with his BF for years and I am fairly certain they are in the .0001% that are ACTUALLY monogamous. But damn if to look at them if they aren’t the most boring and dorky looky guys you have ever seen in your life…

Wonder why I have the jaded hearth on the web site now??? ha ha ha

I’m not really too jaded… and this is not a sour-puss’ rant. This is just a bitch session.

Yes, I miss Adolfo. But in some ways we were really wrong for each other and in other ways we were a great fit. But a year is gone now of being apart and I am now okay. I took a while to walk on my own… seems to always take about a year.

I met a guy in Portland (refer to last summer’s entries) that I fell for… but that was wrong too and so was he. God, what an idiot he was.

I met a guy on Facebook I think is way cool, but he lives in Boston.

I don’t have time for anyone – in reality – but that does not seem to be stopping me. from looking… I’m just a guy looking for another cool guy.

The end of the school quarter is coming like a freight train and so is summer. I have the benefit of a lot of things happening in June. I go on vacation in the beginning of June and then 1/2 way through it I get 1 month off from school. One should also mention I am not that far away from this degree, too. Less than a year to go and ticking… heavy sigh.

Oh, btw Indiana Jones sucks.

So I cam home last night and saw this. The day was the hottest of the year so far. 106! Holy hell!!!.. so to speak. If these melted any more I would have had problems. JINKIES!!!!

My dad had a heart attack that could have really killed him last Saturday. Thankfully he is okay. There have been a few things that make me look at my parents differently. They seem so mortal suddenly. What will happen when they are gone?

Its getting to the end of the quarter and I found out we have 4 weeks off!!!! Wow wow wow!!! BUT it is tough and this quarter is butt-raping me in a bad way… yes there can be good ways… but, I digress. ha ha ha!!! My weaknesses have really been exposed this week, too. I have a lot to learn still!!!

I want to embrace a lot of people in my life and I would say I am open to being a friend or more; E.G.: a guy at school whom I really did not trust because he seemed a little off was someone I grew to really like (in only a friendly way) and when I was just there to really be friends it took a hard turn and he stabbed me in the back tonight. It’s stupid… I know. But it still hurts when you feel betrayed. It is literally the worst thing a person could do to me.

I’d like to be able to report anything special but – life these days is anything but. I am always behind at school and have no real free time. Even today, I planned on hitting the books with the day but there is stuff going on that is going to keep me from all that. Jeff from L.A. is in town and we are supposed to have lunch together. Then I am going to catch a yoga class… then home to study. Yeah me.

Tomorrow, the ‘rents are coming into tow. At least my mom and bob are going to be here. There goes Monday… oi vay.

Good news is I got a replacement phone and it’s better than my old one. I hate talking on the phone, but it is a necessary evil.

Still not dating… I did tell Adolfo I needed to space and that our hanging out was not really good right not. Especially since he was not willing to commit to anything or pursuit the relationship. Since then I have not heard from him.

Sucks how life can be sometimes. But it’s just a door closing, right, and then a window opening? Sigh! xo

This has been a rough week. Last weekend’s romp with John was really cool, but this week I am so so so so broke. My car is on fumes and the shelves are bare. It’s not like my fat ass will starve to death, ha ha ha. I also lost my phone and don’t have the cash to replace it, so I am screwed.

How desperate sounding, huh? Well, I am prolly going no where ‘cept school this weekend. Probably a blessing!

xoo all