No, I did not fall off the planet. I moved in an apartment with Adolfo in the last 2 weeks and the new situation has been rocky most of the time. Adolfo is dealing with a lot of things and I learned I need to back off and let him get his head together. He has intimated a few times that he thinks our realtionship is not working out. BUT, by the next morning he is all lovey-dovey again and he apologizes for the things he said the day before. It’s been a real yo-yo here. It’s absolutely nuts at times.

Last night he worked until 11 at his second job at the Venetian and I felt very guilty about not going to pick him up. I decided to go to bed a little early because I am trying to go running in the mornings and get sleepy earlier at night. He came to bed about 1:30 and was gone this morning by 4:30!?!?!?! Man, he does not get enough sleep and I really think it is effecting him in some very bad ways.

Adolfo does not drive or have a car. I am hoping he will realize that he “needs” to take care of that, but I also realize ONLY he can decide that. I am not a taxi service.

Since the move he and I drove to see my mom as seen in the gallery. There are a couple pics from when Adolfo, Tom, and myself went to help mom with some chores around the house. The following week Mom and Bob came for Thanksgiving and stayed for a few days. I know they really love us and care about Adolfo and I. We had a lot of arguments and tried to have them privately, but mom told me she could over hear us.

The good thing is that mom and Bob took an interest and offered us, independently, some advice. I think it helped a lot. I am trying hard, but it barely seems to be enough. God knows what will happen next?

Anyway, the Christmas tree is up and I will have some new pics of that soon.

It’s been a few days since I wrote here at all. So here are a few updates: I am still in school and had midterms over the last 2 weeks. I got a score of 86 on my History/Politics Class though I do not know what my grades were from Culinary yet. The chef kinda kicked me in the ass, though I do disagree with some of what he said.

Anyhoo… I have 2 days until moving as as of this posting. Adolfo and I move into the new place inside this same complex, but just a few doors away. I have not packed a damn thing yet. Tune in on the web cam on Friday before 3 to see me….

I took Adolfo some flowers today… well, 1 flower and a fun card! I hope he liked it. I wrote in it that I wish I was worthy of his love. I often do not feel that I am. I think I do things on occasion that errode our relationship. I am a foolish foolish man. Only so few people know all the dirty details, but trust me, they are dirty and annoying.

I also had two dreams this week that were really bad and upsetting:

1. Sunday night I had a dreamI was setting up a buffett for Chef Hoffmeister and was working and supervising the junior class. One of the guys in the class was not attentive and lit a tree in the display on fire. I yelled at him and he got really really mad and three a can through the window thus ruining the buffett because all the cold air would come in and the Chef would be pissed. I stepped away to call 911 and realized I was doing the wrong thing. I should have handled the guy better and not let him get upset. I learned a lesson about dealing with people in this.

2. Monday night I had a shorter dream. I had just taken a huge crap (really) in the toilet and did not flush. I went to shower amd I could see a worm easing down the wall over the toilet. It had two tiny arms like a praying mantis and it was the same colot. It had two huge black eyes. It was growing slowly as it climbed down. I wacked it in the head and it fell into the toilet. It rose out of the toilet, growing larger and larger, until it became a powerful, charing, and pissed off cobra snake. Well!!!! I woke up and flew out of bed…

When the Monday night dream was over I woke up and wrote the essay for class seen in my biography section (About Scott). It was 4 am when I woke and could not go back to bed. I was stressed.

Another long and boring day. I worked out and I worked at Sur La Table. I know… very boring.

So I worked on one of my homework assignments for my Political Science/History Class. link THIS is the paper I wrote which was supposed to be personalized about my own Political Socialiszation. When I read it earlier it was good. I hope I think it is still good tomorrow. What do you think.

Is it sad that I live my life the way I do? No one really knows the answer to that unless you’re Mikey, Adolfo, Doc in New Jersey, or Allan in Houston. I am certain my dad wonders if I do not have a screw loose! I should write about what I am doing so you can understand. Gary… are you gunna flip!

I need to get to bed. Mid Terms in Culinary classs and I need to be better prepped for the test. Oi Vay! Later Taters!

I do not seem to be able to get the sutomizations on this diary to follow my design specs! Very seriously frustrating…

This next Saturday we are moving to our new apartment. We are also gunning up for Thanksgiving. Luckily we get to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas in our new place. I am excited about that and cannot think of much less for now. Adolfo is not as in to it as I am though… durn it!

I bought some new cookware fo rthe apartment today. Sur La Table is having a special purchasing discount for us and I got lot’s of stuff. I got a sterling roasting pan, combo steamer & double boiler set, small sauce pan, skillet, and some cooking extras! Yummers….

I just got off work and am trying to mellow down right now before going to bed. Adolfo is already there… he must have been bored tonight? grrrr….

Another long day ahead of me. I am at school from 7:3 to 12:3 and then got to be at work from 2p to 10p … ergh! Tom’s gunna be an unhappy puppy with all this time alone. Poor doggy!

Having coffee now…. off soon! Kisses…

All day at school today…. tomorrow is worse. I have school then a full 8 at Sur La Table. Ergh! Got to get ready for moving, too.

Scott

… trying to get this page working again

Adolfo is still in bed. I am up having coffee. A little stressed this morning. Adolfo and I have been knawing at each other since yesterday… nothing major. I think he is a little distressed over the fact that our relationship is taking a new turn. I secured an apartment for us this weekend in the same complex. It is a two bedroom and we are moving in on the 16th of this month. He admitted that I am building this ideal image of our relationship and he is worried it is being built out of paper mache.

The apartment is larger than the one I am living in now. It gives Adolfo a bedroom of his own if he needs it and guests a place to sleep. Check it out at the above link if you like.

I have gifts sitting here on my desk I have been meaning to send out. Gifts (yes, plural) for Allan in Houston, something for Ruby-Boobie, and Ed in Long Beach. I have got to get these sent out!

Any way… I have groused enough. Talk soon.

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p.s. – I am trying to update this page so it looks a little cleaner. What do you think?

I spent the last 14 hours at school completing a big ta-doo over the school’s grand opening. I am tired. Pooped. And I wish I was cuming home to Adolfo tonight for a hug and a kiss. I ran a rissotto bar there and I met a few of the local polital types including the guy running for Sherriff: Randy Oaks. I also met Lorraine Hunt, current Lt Governor and she is running for something or other. I think I voted for bothy of them last week (Nevada has early voting).

Tom the Dawg was home along for that whole time… 15 hours total … he was a good boy!

Not doing anything for Holloween. I am working at the storeo tomorrow night and could nto be happier about it. Better than sitting at home wondering if some kids are going to knock. Ergh!

Getting to bed swoon… Scott

Since my last entry I had a cold, struggled with school payments, and almost finished my business plan – again. Jeffy Jeff is finished for the most part… I want an investor to make all this good.

I am doing okay for now. I am looking for a new apartment so Adolfo and I can co-habitate.

Happy Wednesday… which means I just finished a few days of school. I read my last diary entry and quivered over some of the typos in it. Jinkies! I even used an entirely wrong word to describe something. I guess that is what alchohol will do to you??? I had a couple cocktails when I was writing the last entry and now I am chilling out and working on a few things tonight at home. God knows I have a lot to do and my biggest problem is that I am coming up with things which avoid OTHER things I SHOULD BE DOING.

I am a little frustrated with school right now, too. It is costing me a lot of money to go monthly. I have to pay 505.00 / month over my student loans in order to attend. I can get a loan to pay off my monthly from some organization called Creative Education Loans, but I am going to need a cosigner or something like that for about 8K … ergh!

Ya would think I would have thought before starting that I could not afford to attend, but I did not want $$$ to stop me from going to school. The reasons for doing this ahve shifted from a neccessity to something I truly enjoy. I love cooking and I love the fact that I am learning some new things. I feel as if a lot of what I learned is unrefined and rough… so I figure that I am supposed to develop these skills in the “real world” as a chef. Is that true? What if I do not want to work in someone else’s kitchen? What if I want to walk my own path?

What if…? I am working on my cafe and I will soon start working on my restaurant design. I also have homework and projects to complete including my web sites: actionheroensemble.com and actionhernetwork.com …. I aam a bizzy dude.

If only all my troubles were solved… everyone says that though. My problems have always been related to money. I never seem to have enough to take care of basics… well, what I feel are basics anyway. My cable got shut off this morning for non-payment. Luckily I had the 300.00 to get it going again… and I have to get caught up on other stuff. When I get some cash I like to hold on to it as long as I can.

Still, I am a lucky person. I have some important things to accomplish in life and sometimes I feel like dropping everything and vanishing. I feel like trying to make a new life somewhere and starting all over again. But, they say that you always bring your problems with you no matter what. Sometimes trying to break the odds is more attractive.

I put a “donations button” on the front page and I am looking for oppurtunities to make life better. I am trying!

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