Is anybody reading this? Is anybody send me e-Mail? Someone let me know the love is still out there for me, please. Send me e-mail! I barely get anything from anybody anymore. Andres? Rodrigo? Gary? Chip? Terry or Kathy? Cuz’n Raechel? Ian? Pumpkin Man? Where or where are my sympathetic ears? Where or where can they be?

I feel like there is something missing on my entries. Blogger.Com has migrated to another server and and I feel like something is missing. Maybe this will fix my archive problem????

This last weekend was yet another product of my lazy lazy ass. Well, Adolfo has been sick since Thursday and I told him to call in sick on Friday, but he insisted on going in. I called him in the early afternoon to tell him I was going to pick him up after work and he says… I’m at the mall. His boss sent him home sick BUT he is shopping. So, almost all Saturday we were in bed or lounging around. Although I had to work.

He started feeling better and I took his temperature often… he he he. Nevermind… anyway so Sunday we went hunting for a picnic place. I wanted to go to the “nude beach” on Lake Meade and we could not find it. This was a hastily assembled picnic so we found a place at a public picnic area… ergh. One really cute little kid was totally fascinated by Tom and that was cute. We did eat and then take off after a short stay. Overall.. it was good.

Yesterday I finally spent just about an hour in the sun and started to add some color to my pasty skin.

What a boring update in my diary. I wanted to know if you’re reading my fiction from my www.halonet.net site?

Test… working on a new look and getting my archives back… ergh.. and Test #2

Well… I was a little rough in my last entry. I guess I am lucky Adolfo does not really read my diary unless he is bored out of his mind. Chippy in NY read my diary and told me I was pretty rough… well… I was honest.

One of these days I will have this history/archive thing on this fixed so you can see all the crap from the last year plus.

I do not have a lot to say so far today. We got up late, I made a coffee cake, and we are watching “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” on AMC… blah, blah, blah… I want to go out to Lake Mead and hang with the homo’s. We’ll see… Later………

Boy was I wrong… my BF is Sybil. I am living with, fucking, and cooking food for Sybil. The Big Chair is missing… yet… Sybil lives in Las Vegas. A few nights ago (Wednesday) I took Adolfo to a party at Jillians for restaurant people that was being offered by Food Service Magazine. In front of all these people I knew Sybil was a moody, unfreindly, distant bitch. Sybil would not stay with us and would hover in different corners of the room pouting, grimacing, or whatever.

I was sooooooooooo annoyed…

I was understanding… he explained that he was completely uncomfortable and that he was not prepared for the environment that we were in. Yes it was Breeder City there as we were in Neonopilis off Freemont Street… but I was myself. The party was hosted by a couple Dykes… get over it.

A day or two before that Sybil was mad at me because I did something I am still unclear on. I did know, in advance, that Sybil would be mad at me because I was having a great day! (Tuesday) I was hanging out with gal-pal Denicha and we were running through the city like a couple of idiots. That was a great day… somehow I became the bad guy. It was as predicatble as rain in Seattle that if I was having a good time Sybil would piss all over it. ERGH!

Sybil? If I laugh to myself when I am standing next to him inexplicably it is because I am wondering which personality is going to emerge from inside the Beast. i.e. Adolfo… as I write this it is clear as air that Sybil is ideal nickname.

Sybil is pissing me off on a regular basis lately and it must be like a sewage backup because for a long time we were at peace with each other. He blames our odd relationship for the stress he feels in it. He blames me for his mood swings. He also blames other people (can’t say who) for his screwed up outlook and disposition.

When I made yesterday’s entry I was deluded that everything was going to be fine. In my own benevolence I brushed off most of our issues. Yesterday evening we were sitting at the dining table and he was ignoring me (more like passively, stoically, demonstratively distant). He had been like this all friggin’ day long. Then he was like that in front of my parents and even as I introduced him to my step-aunt and uncle. He seems to feel okay that he can be rude in front of other people. Rude, unfreindly, cold.

Oh, can I imagine how it would be if I acted like that with any of his family or freinds… NEVER!

Do I sound angry? Do I sound dismayed? Sybil is over babysitting some kids and will be gone half that day! ADIOS BI-OTCH.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ergh… I read back to catch up on the previous entry. My demon-BF is back to normal now. He metamophed back into human form the next night… BUT he never came home that night and he tells me he stayed the night at his job in the Employee Dining Facility. Oh, that pissed me off. Since then everythng has been cool and I did not stress over it. We laid down in bed and talked the next day and I told him I was “over it” though the whole situation, as most situations with an argument, is 150% his fault.

NOT that I would want to assign blame (HIM) or anything like that. When a couple argues no one is the good guy alone (me). We both have to shuolder the burden of a misunderstanding (me) and make the best of it (me). Oh, the struggle…

Anyway, mom came to visit as of last night and she left today to stay at Sam’s Town. She started a Slot Poker Tournament tonight and will go through the weekend with it. Cool for her. Me, on the other hand, nothing special happening. Will update as things happen… boy I sound boring.

June is still here… I just read the last entry opening line complaining how fast the month was going by… ergh! Well, the first week of finals is over and next week I have three exams I need to prepare for. I have very few hours schedules at my job at Sur La Table which is a plus because of a lot of issues. It’s a plus because I have time to focus on some things I need to do.

Sur La Table in Las Vegas is a little part time job I have and usually I really like it there. Some of the people I work with are great and good people, while a few bring in so much of their fucked up baggae to work and make it shitty for the rest of us. This is why some people are still in retail, because they do not have the skills or healthy outlook to work in truly professional circumstances. A few people working there are really underestimating their abilities in these limited life roles. BUT, then again, that is my perception.

You may have noticed there were very very few complaints about my relationship with Adolfo lately. In fact, generally, things have been quite good. My love for him was restored. Because frankly, he had pulled me back and forth over the fire for so long that my love for him was waining. I was losing him in my heart. Yesterday he came to my school for a freinds and family deal and got to meet a lot of my fellow students, it was amazing how many people wanted to meet him. Our table was surrounded by other students… out of curiousity or what??? He looked absolutely great and was wonderful!!!!!!

I cannot figure out a lot of things. I was a few minutes late picking up Adolfo from work yesterday and he seems to have turned into Lucifer in the hot sun. He acted like a complete asshole for the whole evening and goaded me at every turn. I got pissed and threw a plastic container full of chipotle sauce that exploded in the kitchen. I ended up cleaning the whole thing up and I went to the market after just to get away for a bit. When I came home Adolfo was gone and he did not come home at all.

I called him last night about 9:30 to get him to come home and he was nasty and agressive on the phone. I hung up and went to bed alone. He did not come home all night… which for me is worse of all. He’s managed to hurt me again. Again and again … when things get going well he always manages to do something to ruin it. It’s not enough we have both been stressed about making ends meet. I have not been bitching much, though I have more than enough right to.

Damn, I have been supporting this household mostly on what little I make every month. I do not make much, but I have been managing our bills and juggling the whole pot. He does a lot… a LOT around here to keep the household running and I tell him how much I appreciate it.

Anyway… I’ve vented enough. Let me know what you think…

Hmm… updated the template today…

It’s alrady so dmn far into June… where the hell is time going to? Can anyone explain this to me. I feel like I fell into a hole and the world is passing by outside. Ergh!!!

Anyhoo… the new truck is working fine, Adolfo and I have been good, the dog is spoiled as hell and pooped on the carpet I recently steam cleaned thus leaving a nasty spot I will eventually need to steam again…. (deep breath) and I still need a new computer. I have been working on taking care of a few of life’s loose ends this week. I have as word hanging over my head with the irs … Ergh again.

I have finished my business site hoping to drum up more clients. Want to see? www.ahn2x.net is the site… yes I know… it used to be my Action Hero Network Link, but I needed that for other things right now. AHN the site is a dead dog. What do you think of this?

Anyway, this was just a quick update.

Ooops… when I uploaded my site on the new server I uploaded an old diary page. Gary reminded me otherwise I would have forgotten intirely. Now if I can get the archives to show up I would be thrilled silly. Ooops… too late. (I am soooo funny, aren’t I?)

Anyway, the truck is working well and I had to drive to Mesquite, Nevada this week which is 100 miles away and it performed like a star! I will have pictures soon… as soon as I can anyway. It has to go in for some minor work next week and we keep talking about a road trip somewhere… we have most of the stuff to go camping. We are also talking about a trip to Disneyland, too. So, who knows.

Other things include talk of moving from Las Vegas. I have been really struggling with the fact that I cannot find work here. I have a job part time in retail that is sometimes good and sometimes very boring. My contract work is keeping money coming in, but how long can I keep that up? I have no health insurance, no life insurance, no dental… blah blah blah. If I get sick in any serious way I will be wrecked! Anyway, we talked about moving. I seem to be focused on Seattle or on Boston, but I left a lot of ghosts in Boston. Soooo… Seattle is ahead in the race for my gracing presence.

Anyway, let me get this posted… talk soon!

Uriels Lantern will be going away for a little while soon because I am switching servers. I have been dragging my feet over the process for that and other web sites of mine to have a new home I can afford. So… bare with me.

I got new new trucklast night. I can now drive with more than one passenger and AND have the dog in the back too. I got a Ford Explorer. It’s a huge leap from my Ranger in that is is very comfortable and has 2 more sylinder-thingies. It’s got electric everything… doors, locks, drivers wheel.. etc. Way cool.

My payments will not go up that much more either. I got my insurance updated, too. Yipee for me. Scott

I have been feeling very stressed again lately. I wish I could relax. Adolfo and I got into a discussion about POT last night and it has been a very very long time since I smoked it… at least two or three years. I recall how it was the only thing, even the slightest puff, that could help me relax. Because it is illegal and has some harmful effects… I do not indulge. I wish there was something….

The dog crapped on the carpet twice this week. After three years suddenly this damn dog decides to fertilze the carpets! Oh I was pissed off! I had to rent a carpet cleaning machine this morning in my pajamas. Ergh… I will be cleaning tonight. yippeee….

Anyway… I might be on-line tongiht. Who knows? Talk soon!