I found this picture which appeares to be Daniel Ratcliffe and I nearly had an anurism. You see, he has a scene in the latest Harry Potter film in which he is sitting naked in a bath and the shape of his face and chest is … amazing. This picture appears authentic… but oh – my – god!

Anyway, back to reality.

I have been relatively awake for most of the last 3 days and am at my limit. I have fallen asleep at my desk about a dozen times tonight. I almost fell asleep driving to work.

I had my client last night for the personal chef gig I had and it went off smoothly and nicely! I could not ask for anything better. I had a girl named Sara from the Ai helping me and she did a fantastic job!

Anyone know where I can get the rest of that picture?

(Shaking head)…. oh, I must have been dreaming. None the less, I get to go home soon and I am glad for it. Wil I get any rest? WIll I simply drop dead? Maybe on both???? I have to stop by the market to get some food to make an early dinner tonight. My mom and step-dad are here in town and they want to meet up with us.

This is a good thing. I am always extremely happy to meet up with any member of my family.

Well, I stil have a couple nights of work ahead of me and a chance to getr sleep tomorrow….. I hope. I need to visit some freinds, call others, and do the happy holiday thingie.

Let me know what you think of that LOVELY picture! xoxoxoxo all over you Daniel. Merry Ho Ho!

The holidays are always a little on the rough side. Emotionally, temperamentally, as well as the abililty to have faith in other people. I once made an entry that kvetched about this city and the way people communicate with each other. How people do not look other people in the eyes. How people are generally rude. I have noticed less of that lately…?

I imagine it is just the holidays. Come January everything will be back to the way it was or…. worse. Sounds like I have little faith in people.

Well, I have more than you know. I have more hope than I have ever shared. I have more insight than I wish. I If only I could make the world run my way we would all be happier. he he he!

I am very busy this week and I am worried about the amount of sleep I will not be getting. My mom is coming to town this weekend and may be having lunch with us… aka an early Christmas dinner. It’s the only time I can muster for us to gather at our place.

I am anxious for Adolfo to open his gifts. I got him a buch of junk he wanted and I am unsure of what he got me. Who knows…. this might be a cool Christmas. I ended up spending more for myself than anything! I bought myself a new laptop and a new mp3 player. Oh, Satallite radio. C’Mon!

Anyway… should be cool. Ciao!

When I feel stressed it affects me in a lot of different directions. I am concerned that I am driving myself nuts lately. This is not too unusual that I do this to myself. But I get more ditzy, sleep less, and fixate on things that I do not need to. It’s all negative.

The thing is, that in the end, I feel good and that I have accomplish a lot … as long as I do not let anything fall through the cracks… as it were. Bills, obligations… etc. Adolfo… Tom… web sites, job, personal businesses, birthdays, anniversaries, etc….

I will be nuts for the rest of the week. I do not know what I will post in my journal… but in less than a week is my 29th birthday (don’t pop my bubble) and I will finally be able to relax.

We are having dinner at Commander’s Palace with friends and that will be enjoyable. I wish people I know from all over could be there. Ian, George, Ken, Keith, Allan, Gary ROSA!, Jeffy-Jeff, Ed the Diva, TVD, Maureen. Brian, too?

You know, that would be the best if all these people came to my funeral. I don’t know why I just thought about this. Imagine if it was my funeral instead of my birthday, I would be so happy to have all these same people there.

That was weird for some people… get over it.

I’m not connecting the dots together so well right now. I’m tired and stressed and thinking about 100 different things.

Hmm… I can go to bed soon.

I am “upside-down” …. I work all night and sleep all day. It’s kinda wierd, but I have lots of energy at the wrong times of the day. Like, right now it is 6am and I have been at work since 11 pm last night. I am going to the gym after work, getting a hair cut, and then heading home for a nibble then … off to bed.

Odly enough, I have been able to get a lot of personal stuff done… the in addition to my new laptop which has also made my world a lot more easier. I can get stuff done at work that I would never have been able to do before.

As a result, there may be some new changes coming about! I am working on making my life a little better….

Cheers!

I decided to update my MP3 player for the first time in…. a long time. I put some Madonna (how gay!), Black Eyed Peas, and Gorillaz. I went on-line to iTunes and tried to find some stuff I liked but there was almost nothing interesting. I downloaded Robbie Williams song Millinium and can’t get it over to my mp3 player! They SUCK!

I went to MSN Music using my MSN software and that is not working. Then I tried using Explorer to get the SAME damn song from MSN and I am still waiting for the login page to load!

Ugh! So much energy into getting one fucking song!

10 minutes later… I got the song. I also started down loading some other stuff from MSN here and there.

—- I downloaded a lot of stuff once i got connected and my mp3 player is quite refreshed with a lot of new music. I got a lot of dancy-queer ultra gay stuff for the gym.

I am a little taken by Robbie Williams from the UK. He is HOT! I mean look at this! Google his cute ass right now… do it! He’s got a remarkable voice… now he used to belong to a Brit boy-band 10 years ago and has since made a big name for himself; mostly in Europe. Big rumors about him being queer… I can only dream

Anyway, this is me sharing my twisted little fantasies! Cheers !!!

xo

I made roasted duck for dinner tonight with a mushroom risotto. The duck was the easy part… I boned that bitch and set her pieces on a rack in the oven to roast. Meanwhile, I got ahold of some oyster mushrooms and some mini portabella and chopped them all up. I sauteed some risotto rice in olive oil and butter, added some diced onion. Then added little by little some chicken broth. It was so good! I finished it off by added grated parmesean and WAAAALAH!
Adolfo thought it sucked. First he made me swear never to make duck again. Then he said the rice was too salty. He made me swear before he even tasted it. What a pain in the ass.
In my opinion, the rice was heavenly! Adolfo never has had the most sophisticated pallet in the world, but would it kill you to enjoy something so damn good!
He’s in luck, he does not have to eat my cooking for a few days because of our schedules. This is going to be a busy week for me and then next week I have a client I need to be ready for. This is another personal chef client whom I cooked for last year! It should be really cool.
If you noticed I had to add a static menu to the top of my site. Some people did not have Shockwave or Flash loaded so they were crippled when they arrived. So, even though it ruins the aesthetic, here is a link to a static menu. ugh! (not to mention any names ALLAN)
As the web site develops I am sure it will get more attention. I am turning my attention to my uncle eddie’s site (www.edwardeggman.com) and my dad’s site (www.[redacted].com) to update their look and tech running in them.
Should be rather cool! An awesome idea for my dad’s site just pooped into my head. I already had some cool stoooof in there for Uncy Ed! It will be brighter and more fun!
Anyway, I get to go home from work soon and am off the next couple nights. Cheers all!

I made a nice dinner at home last night… when Adolfo came home I had started dinner for the two of us. I made a Basmati rice with two most excellent steaks. In the Basmati rice I sauteed some onions and chopped bacon with a touch of butter to get the fat going. Then I browned the rice before adding the liquid a little at a time. The liquid was from a frozen veal reduction I picked up and turned into a stock.

I broiled the steaks to keep it simple. But, added a little sauce of veal reduction, butter and sauteed onion over the top to punch it up. It was delicious!

——

Not that I am surprised, but no one commented on my rant last night. I offer absolutely no apologies about it! Without a doubt, this world could use some serious weeding out and that’s just how I feel about it. With the poles shifting as they are, with the massive natural disasters of late, it seems like nature is up to something.

Between AIDS, Bird Flu, and a myriad of other diseases we humans seem to be getting it from both ends. It’s natural order. Unless Jesus flies down form the sky in a blue jumper to save us all we are where we are… facing the power of nature that is stronger than all of us combined.

THIS WILL NOT BE AN ONGOING THEME OF THIS DIARY… in fact I am ending it here. As much as I can talk, I hate seeing people hurt or discriminated against. It goes on all the time in the world … maybe that’s another natural “way” of things?

(Changing Subjects:)
I defrosted a duck today to make for dinner tomorrow. I will probably roast him so he is deliciously full of flavor with herbs and fat! What will I make with him? I have been doing a lot of rice lately! I could do a duck risotto with mushrooms and something… something else? Maybe artichoke hearts?

Adolfo complained I did not serve bread with dinner, so I guess I’ll make him some biscuits!

Anonymous Lawyer is symbolic of the mental instability people are playing out publicly. He is a major figure in a prestigious L.A. Law Firm with a passive aggressive masochist fantasy of torturing junior associates that he plays out on the web. His most recent entries have demonstrated his sick, disgusting and venomous treatment of other people. They also often tend to show his contempt for his own family including this hallow headed wife and life sucking children he occasionally refers to.

Even if this person turned out to be a total fabrication it is still an unyielding demonstration of the new human condition of posturing and disconnection. TIME magazine even gave this neophyte props in their Top 50 Web Sites article recently.

I was watching CNN during my dinner break this morning and I saw story after story of human idiocy further demonstrating the real disease that will destroy this world. There was story after story of people destroying themselves and people around them out of ignorance and stupidity.

Do I sound angry? If the voice in your “inner monologue” is anger, you should instead be hearing disbelief and shock. Imagine watching someone doing something so beyond reason that it defies understanding.

There are these men who keep roosters for cock-fighting on Thailand. They care more for these birds than their own lives or families, because one “keeper” sucked the blood from his roosters throat as it was dying from the bird-flu only to die a week later of the animal born disease.

A group of black-kids from Houston were beating the shit out of one kid on camera and the newscaster said it was “because of the frustrations felt over Katrina”. Houston? High school rats? Give me a break…

And there is a group of pharmacists in Illinois who refused to give out the “Morning After Pill” to prescription carrying women. They are on unpaid leave from Walgreens because they are a bunch of Christians claiming “religious persecution” which makes me want to VOMIT. Christians need to be martyrs, don’t they… but what about their families who are without a bread-winner? I guess they need to suffer as well?

Why can’t all these people just kill themselves or each other so the rest of us can finally live in peace? These religious nuts and other people with misdirected ideals are only serving to drive the rest of us from each other. These fanatics and anarchists are just a pain in the ass.

It’s been a few days… this new schedule is something that takes a while to get used to. I sleep through most of the day… of which I can hardly remember what day it actually is???? My schedule is that I work at the Venentian from 11pm to 7am. Anyone working in a casino never sees the light of day so it could be afternoon out and I would never know it. It just feels “out of time” in here.

Christmas is coming. Adolfo kept syaing that over and over today… I do not think he expected this year to come to an end so quickly. This will be out 3rd Christmas together. We do have most of our christmas shopping completed, I believe, and I am happy about that. BUT, my credit card is feeling a little abused. This includes the cost of the laptop I bought myself.

As soon as Christmas passes I will be faced with yet another birthday. I will be 41. Kill me. My dad is feeling my age, too. He realized that as I get older he is too! ha ha ha… I decided I wanted to celebrate my birthday at Commander’s Palace at the Aladdin Hotel on the 29th and have dinner with family and friends.

It should be really cool. I love good food and good company! Now, if I can only get a cheuffer to drive me around that night. Keith took care of my ass last year… or was that the year before that? When we went to FireFly????

Anyway, I am going to update my wish list tonight, too. Check it out!

xo

Scott

Life in Las Vegas has been … different. As anxious as I have been to move on… events have been set into motion that may interrupt my plans to escape. The loony bin keeps pulling me in and I am continuously giving in to the call of the siren… security and money.

This city is not that bad. It just happens that so many people in it are sick, disturbed, and ugly. This is the place where white trash with money come to thrive. Anyone can come here and make a lot of money… anyone. Even I have done reasonably well… but I throw it all away with the greatest of ease!

Well, my initial point was that fortune and fate have conspired again and in thier union have spawned oppurtunity… I am not at liberty to divulge any more than that. I find it intensely curious about how these things come into play and am sitting back curiously for more oppurtunities to emerge.

Sometimes I talk in riddles…. sounds like a load of horseshit doesn’t it?