This weekend was another …stock with the Burningman group. It was a huge party in the desert and it was good as usual. I think I am feeling like … maybe I’m not looking in the right place? Not sure. I go there to connect with other humans and I have so little in common with a bunch of straight people.

On the other hand, there is a lot of them I have come to genuinely like. Now, I have never been much of a party animal either, but these things sure beat hanging out in a club as a single person. Ugh… went to Charlies not long ago and it was just stressful.

There were more gay boys at this last stock than on previous occasions. I met a cute boy, but he was very young. He had a brilliant light in his soul and as much as I wanted to explore that I am – afraid. There are reasons that I can’t get into here, but let’s say it is all age related.

But what a sweet guy. A great hug.

It was a busy week and with all these allergines in the air I am gettin my ass kicked big time. I am do popping the over-the-counter supplies and probably inflicting brain damage from it. I have been spending much of every day at school getting work don and trying to keep up.

Last week my phone dies on me and my pc died on me. I managed to buy a new cell phone for a serious wad of cashola. MAN was that bad timing. Because now I need a computer too…. ARGH!

Oh, I forgot to mention how my external HD was having problems and I disovered the cord needed to be replaced, buit ended up buying a seconf device anyway. Grr…

Not a lot to say right now except graduation is 2 weeks off and I am keeping my sorry ass busy. Trying to generate some cash, too. Anyway, I’ve been here at school all day. Talk later.

I am singing the BM song all the time. Yo might think I was obsessed. I might be, ya know? I tell all kinds of people about something I still have not experienced. I’m a newbie. I’m new meat.

So, there seems to be a lot of gay camps. More than what the local burners have for gays from what I can see. Gay and straight local burners seem to want to walk on their own and not necessarily belong to a group.

As I make my journey I met a big group of people married to this Burningman event and I like them a lot. Yet one of the founding ideals of Burningman seems to be a sense of individualism. Yet – there is this congregation that comes together in big and small groups feeding off of some energy – while others chose not to participate in that.

Yes, some of that participation is enhanced… ha ha ha… but I like these people.

SO? What camp are you joining for BM???? Join mine??? Hell I planned on applying for my own camp but there are so many legacy camps I decided to align myself with someone fun that will take me.

No AA groups… nope – sobriety that week is a word I do not want to know how to spell. he he!

PLEASE COMMENT BELOW

2 weeks to Greenstock. And according to the JackRabbit we just passed the Burnal Equinox. Half way to Evolution…

If you have not got your tickets yet, please get them now. They are just going to get more expensive and you don’t want to wait until the last minute to decide. David (naked yoga guy) said he bought his ticket last minute last year. Literally, the LAST day to get in and he and his man showed up 10 minutes before the gate closed!

Don’t be like David. Be naked and dirty earlier in the week like me!

I worry too much and I often let stuff stress me out that really is not as major as it seems. That is pretty normal for most people I think. I guess I appreciate those people who have a ‘don’t sweat the little shit’ attitude. Those same people are probably pushing shopping carts down on Main Street these days? While people like me are warm and cozy in rubber rooms.

Almost everyone I know in my apartment complex is looking at an eviction today. I pulled a notice down from my neighbors door because I did not want to see her embarrassed. She is struggling very hard to stay above water. Same with another guy I know here and it bothers me deeply – I care about these people.

I have been blessed. I have just enough cash to keep from sinking entirely. I’ve had to set priorities about what to pay and what not to pay. This economy and this capitalism is bound to cave in to itself eventually and credit companies, housing industry, and utility companies have to become a little less worried about profits and more humanistic …

STOP!!! I am heading down a tangent on a subject I am not an expert on. But really, how much can capitalism feed on until it has to start eating itself? Stopping the rant…

Worried. Optimistic. Dreaming of better days ahead…

On my post from last week I got some kind and supportive words. Some people made comments on the post while some sent me an email directly. If you are getting this through RSS or other means I want you to know it is appreciated.

It is now more than 2 weeks of unemployment and though I have been in this situation before, I am a lot more concerned that the light is further down the tunnel than what I am prepared to deal with mentally. The $$ is getting thin and though I am now receiving unemployment I have to be cautious how I spend my cashola.

I have impressed myself how much I have made money stretch. I know I am SOOOOO not alone in this perspective and know a lot of people out there are struggling as well. I just know I have been blessed and pray and wish those blessings are still coming my way. I also decided that there is no one I can expect to help me on any level – so I will strive to do my best to get myself on track.

When one is broke you have to establish priorities. Someone told me make sure you have a roof over your head and enough food to survive first.

Now, on March 26th I will be graduating school and hope that I can keep it together until then – at least. Maybe I’ll get lucky and drop a few pounds too. Now – how is that for looking on the bright side.

I always remain an optimist. I truly have been blessed more times than I can personally account for – but I try to. There are people I know in worse circumstances. So take it for what it is worth, count your blessings every day.

I am looking around for a group to camp with. No doubt my local peeps are going to have their own gigs, but for me I want to be around cool homos (if they exist). I want my freinds there, but no one can (or has) purchase tickets. Now Naked Shawn told me about Comfort & Joy….

There is a whole list pf previously registered Theme Camps on the bm site.

Avalon Village
Avalon Village is a large queer/queer friendly village of theme camps including Quixote’s Cabaret, Camp Montage, Astro Pups, Fairyland, Camp Stella, Camp Celestial Bodies, Vietnamese Iced Coffee Camp, and The Uncharted Territories. Come join us for performance, workshops, and playa fun!
Hometown: San Francisco, CA
Contact: nathanpurkiss (at) yahoo (dot) com

Camp Stella
Camp Stella is a Burning Man theme camp of diverse queer and queer friendly folks who have agreed to experience Burning Man clean and sober for the duration of the event. Some of us are active in AA and other 12 step programs. Others are not. Camp Stella hosts open AA meetings during the week.
Hometown: San Francisco, CA
URL: http://www.campstella.org/
Contact: wbicknell (at) gmail (dot) com

Canadian Wet Dream
Come join our Crazy Queer Canucks bringing the Canadian dream of street hockey (and hooping) to your local Neighborhood. Mullets, Hockey sticks (hoops)and nets provided for A Good Ol’ Street Hockey Game.
Hometown: Abbotsford, BC
Contact: aliandbrian (at) mac (dot) com

[quote]
Comfort & Joy
Restore your body and lift your spirits at Comfort & Joy, a gay community center & faggot oasis that offers daily events including yoga classes, discussion groups, skill building workshops and outrageous performances every night.
Hometown: San Francisco, CA
URL: http://www.playajoy.org
Contact: kitten (at) playajoy (dot) org
[end-quote]

Well, I got through the c’s before it was time to get to bed. Some of these sound cool, so I am looking forward to it all. I’m afraid Stella and I will be ships that pass in the night… a drunken night but hey… I’ll shout out as I stumble by.

Guess what arrived in the mail???? Yes, my BEAUTIFUL TICKET arrived via post yesterday and it is gorgeous. According to the jackRabbit tickets will only be on sale for a limited time. I believe they said it will last through June or July. By then, unless you get a special deal from BM then it could cost you up to 300$ for a ticket.

I got a cool letter giving me links to a lot of newbie information that I will post in my next blog. There is so much anyone going for the first time should know. READ about BM and look at all the pictures!

Now I have to see what CAMP I plan on sticking with when I get there. There is also a list on the BM site.

Cheers All!

One week of unemployment down and though I have made some efforts to look for work most of my energy was directed at school and related projects. The thing is many of those projects are going to boost my resume.

I am at a point where I am just drifting. Leaving my last job was NOT devastating. The only bad part was 1.Losing the $ I was being paid which was very generous, and 2. Leaving some cool people who I enjoyed working with.

Since the beginning of this school quarter I have been struggling. Between the stress of a full time + job and 7 classes at school, getting ready for graduation in 6 weeks…. imagine that.

I am finding this year to be a serious roller coaster ride.

– I worry about paying bills
– I worry that my computer at home is on it’s dying breath
– I worry about being single still and not dating at all… NO ONE is interested.

So as optimistic as I am to my soul there are moments when it is a dire struggle. I feel like just giving up entirely because as much as I struggle my fiscal growth is still very horizontal. Yes, I judge my success by my income and title. My success in life is okay…

In life I have my usual small circle of friends and I don’t feel like I am an important element to any of them. I always seem to be that friend that is never top of the list… sorta the friend who rates 3rd or something. This is not a poor-me thing (fuck you for thinking that). As loyal and endearing to my true friends as I am I think a lot of people keep looking for some agenda from me. I don’t do that.

I stand quietly participating in a world of madness.