soLongSince

I’m writing this under unpleasant conditions…. brain death. Yeah, last night I did not get much sleep and was out partying with a freind. I was mizzzerable in this bar and realize I am not a happy camper in these bars.

I’ll get something more coherant soon. BUT for now I wanted to say that my freind Mark has been lecturing me about my habits with going out lately, but I am doing mostly social obligations while avoiding spending money when possible.

Last night Marky and I dashed over to the Eagle to see Las Vegas most tragic in their finest. I have to tell you – it was awful. The fags in this town are a solid mess. They are what I pick up from Tom off the grass.

I can have enough heart to say – lucky me compared to them. That was just pure evil, huh? ha ha ha…. so fucking what. I’ve been having fun with some of my freinds (old and new) and find freinds are a commodity that I value. BUT… I am still trying to fogure out who I can really count on.

HERE in vegas, there is no loyalty and there is no virtue. I am so pathetic that my priorities are all screwed sideways. I have to say between buddy Mark and new buddy David I am getting a red-headed bitch slap.

As for John John (Mexican John) he has been working and living his own life so much that I have barely seen him. Ugh. John (Shifta) is still living his own married life and I do not get to see him much either.

It does not seem to matter – a lot of the time I still feel like an outsider with people I feel for. All the names mentioned in this log so far are people I consider freinds here in Las Vegas. I still feel like I am outside a bubble from them anyway.

It’s always been that way. Which is probably why I am still as screwed as I am.

Regional Burning Man Events: Dark Skies and TOAST

I just came back from another Regional Burning Man event called TOAST. Now I have something to compare it too, because a couple weeks ago I was at Dark Skies.

I was thrilled to see more gay people at TOAST and more people who seemed to have less hangups on their own sexual identity. Here I am in the mid west and I am meeting people who has less baggage about who they were. It was a beautiful thing to be around what was mostly an Arizona crowd.

Dark Skies on the other hand was actually HELD in Arizona, but on the opposite end of the state. The vibe was completely different, though that basic themes and social awareness was the same.

It seems that the bodies of people in different groups (regionally) have different interests. While my Dark Skies people are more lifestyle oriented, the people of TOAST are more community structures… or something like that.

So, as I delve more deeply into this world I have to be prepared for something more. I meet people I would really like to know more and people I develop feelings for and still feel I can take those relationships only so deep. As much as I feel embraced by some – want to embrace others – I still feel I can only take it so far. There is still this bubble around them and I.

Maybe this bubble is something normal I have not had to face before – or perhaps am seeing it differently. Alas, we are just people on our own journeys.

One of the things I am constantly aware of and see in each of the people I have met is a standard in the BM Dogma; radical self-expression. It’s a true individualism and non-judgemental position.

So, if anyone is reading this and exploring their journey to BM – or comparing mine to theirs – it’s not something you can do in a snap. Going into the Playa with what I have collected along the way is something I will value.

BTW – I am going to Element-11 in June. Coming along?

runnin’ on empty

Just a quick note, because I realized I have not said much here lately. It’s been no secret I have been hoping to meet someone to date. I thought that meeting someone through the Burning Man community would have been ideal. It’s a culture I feel is something I really enjoy and feel drawn to.

This last weekend was a challenge, as I went to a regional burning man event called TOAST. There were a lot more gay people there and many of whom were flat-out attractive. My attention was really focused on a couple of the d’j.’s and event got to make out with one of them… nice.

Anyway, I am told that as long as I am looking for someone I will never find him. If only I can get that in my head!!

Anyway, I am going to another regional in a month and then just a few months away from the BIG ONE. God, I hope I can find my peace… s

Update

The Lemon Cleanse died the Wednesday night after. I lasted almost 3 whole days. So, whoever commented on the last entry – IT’S NOT THAT EASY YOU BRAT!!! Ha ha ha… I think my eating habits are okay, but they really are not.

Well, this week is Dark Skies and I am leaving for it Thursday morning. Tom is at the babysitters and I am heading out to fry in the desert. Yey me. The scheduled events and happenings are – interesting. So I plan on reporting back with pictures and video if I can manage to get all of my electronics working okay.

Cheers for now babies. S

Monday again…

Monday just keeps coming and coming. This Monday I decided to start a new diet and with that launch, it is a fast (sp?). Yes, the lemon cleanse (aka the Beyonce diet) is my challenge until next week. My plan is to go until Wednesday and then a couple days later I am off to Dark Skies.

I am already teetering. I was looking at a stack of tortillas in the fridge and thinking… just a few! ha ha ha. JUST A FEW!!! AHHHHHHHHH

I also feel like I keep trying to open windows and doors to let people in… opening the heart and trying to welcome people… but the more doors and windows I open I think I am losing bits of myself. In yoga you keep your heart open and the universe will fill in the blanks… I feel skipped over in that line.

Sigh… I try too hard.

puttingItOff

One of my goals this year – along with graduating college – was to lose the weight that I accumulated through the 1st degree and kept through teh second one. I have no excuses and I really want to drop it before Burningman. I have 50#’s to lose and starting Monday… yes Monday… is day #1 of the new evil master plan.

I want to accomplish a lot of milestones, but it is defeating when (in my self assesment) I am such a loser. No job, no income, no clients right now. I know when trying to work for yourself, it is either feast or famon. That is the reality of working with people.

But tomorrow I am starting off with a 21 day detox and cleansing and need a lot of support. I am so proned to eating tons of breads and sweets. I eat more than I think I am conscience of… when I think about it I do some bad things. bad bad bad…

I joined www.50MillionPounds.com and will see if it gets me anywhere.

Sigh… and no the cleanse is not part of that. It’s just a process I think I need to go through to get past the cravings and bad habits. It is said, you can break a bad habit by changing it for 21 days… right?

THE ULTIMATE PACKING LIST FOR BURNINGMAN

FROM SPANKY’S VILLAGE WEB SITE: A BM CAMP COMMUNITY
Keep in mind that if you are camping in a group situation, some of these items may be provided by the
camp, so check with camp leaders to ensure that you are not duplicating items unnecessarily

Things specific to SWB:
Master/Dominatirx/Slave costume (if ya wanna)
Elegant bartending costume (if ya wanna)
One case of wine – 6 red and 6 white (mandatory)
One appetizer to serve to the Spankers (mandatory)
iPod if you want to play a set at the bar (dust damage at your own risk)
A little black dress (for the LBD parade)
Weird Underwear for the Weird Underwear Brigade
Extension cords and splitter (if you want to plug anything into the power grid)

Things you should/must bring:
> Your ticket
> Plane ticket (if flying)
> Driver’s License or other ID
> Road map (directions) for traveling to/from the event
> Copy of the “Survival Guide” (on Bman website)
> Reservations at hotel (before and/or after event)
> Money (ice, coffee, etc)
> Water (2 gallons per person, per day)
> A camelback or similar water container, with pockets (and put your name, your camp
name and address inside it) Or you can bring a small, cheap knapsack
> Food & Beverages (you will not eat as much as you think)
> Some way to cook you food (camp stove, pots, pans, etc)
> Cooler for fresh food and drinks
> Fuel for stove
> Cooking and eating utensils (see Separate List)
> Drinking cup for hot or cold liquids (try to put your name on it)
> Sunscreen (SPF 30 or higher)
> Shelter (a good tent, RV, etc – wind/dust storms can reach 75 mph)
Note: If brining a tent, bring the type that allows you to zip-up all screened windows
Note: Replace cheap tent stakes with 12” rebar stakes. And bring tennis balls to cap
off the protruding ends of the rebar stakes. And bring something to hang from the
tent’s guy wires so they are visible at night.
> Warm sleeping bag (night temps can range from 70-40 degrees)
> Air mattress or sleeping pad
> First Aid Kit (See Separate List)
> Heavy duty trash bags with ties
> Dust mask and goggles
> Any needed prescriptions (or medicine you need frequently)
> Prescription glasses, contacts (spares), and cleaner
> Sunglasses
> Flashlight with spare batteries
> Toiletries (See Separate List)
> Toilet paper (in case the port-o-potties run out between servicings)
> Lip balm (with SPF protection
> Moisturizer and vinegar (for foot care)
> Light and warm clothing (though rare, temps can exceed 110 in the day and 40 at night)
> Comfortable shoes (don’t walk barefoot too much… playa can dry/crack feet!)
> Towel
> Common sense, an open mind and a positive attitude

Things that are good to bring but not essential:
> Costumes (the wilder the better… funky hats)
> Body/Face Paint
> Wide brim hat
> Misting bottle
> Work gloves
> Shade structure or tarp (to cover your tent)
> Hammer
> Screw drivers
> Mountain bike with a light
> Bike lock
> Spare bike tube and pump
> Decorations for your bike (and put your name, camp etc on the bike somewhere)
> Rope or cord
> Bungee cords
> Musical instrument (drum, etc)
> Compass
> Pillows
> Lantern (don’t use gas lanterns inside tents… only battery operated)
> Extra Mantles for lantern
> Camp chair (with name on it)
> Camp table
> EL wire, glow sticks, blinky things
> Notebook and pen
> Baby wipes
> Large Zip-Lock baggie for traveling clothes
> Various other sized zip lock baggies for food, dust protection, etc
> Laundry bag
> Camera (disposables are good, if not, bring case for dust protection)
> Matches/Lighter
> Ashtray if you smoke (altoid tins work great)
> Cell phone with charger (no signal on the playa, but for traveling)
> Spare batteries of all types you may need
> Two way radio (walkie talkie)
> Solar Shower Bag
> Hangover medicine (emergen-c)
> Mirror
> Pee Funnel and container (females)
> Rain Poncho
> Long Undies
> Spare set of car keys
> Wisk broom for tent
> Light for inside tent
> Fan for inside tent
> Cheap watch
> Head lamp
> Sewing kit
> Safety pins
> Duct tape
> Extension cords (if your camp has power)
> Fire Extinguisher
> Scissors
> Sharpie permanent marker
> Swiss army knife (with corkscrew, of course!)
> Zip Ties (various sizes)
> Mesh bag to dehydrate food waste
> Books/Magazines
> Games
> Camp decorations
> Giveaway/Barter trinkets
> Booze/Mixers for bars
> Parasol
> Sheet for sleeping on warm nights
> Condoms, lube, toys etc
> Earplugs
> Extra zip-lock baggies
> Portable radio or iPod
> Carpet for tent and area in front of tent (tape carpet edges)
> Soft poi for practicing
> Hula Hoop
> Fire spinning toys (if qualified to use)
> Aloe Gel
> Wash Basin

Personal Cooking Supplies:
> Stove (propane is best)
> Fuel (propane is best)
> Large pot
> Small pot
> Large frying pan
> Small frying pan
> Plates (paper… less dishes to wash)
> Silverware
> Large spoons/fork
> Hard spatula
> Rubber spatulas/scrapers
> Can opener
> Tupperware containers
> Whisk
> Dish soap and scrubbies
> Paper towels
> Drying bag for cookware
> Pantyhose to strain dishwater
> Pot holders
> Long lighter
> Plastic wine glasses
> Dish towels

First Aid Kit:
> Aspirin
> Band aids
> Antiseptic wipes
> Eye drops
> Stomach meds
> Cotton balls
> Peroxide
> Nasal spray
> Cold meds
> Tweezers
> Small knife
> Small flashlight
> Pain killers
> Antibiotics
> Gauze pads
> Medical tape
> Ankle/wrist wrap
> Vitamins – 5HTP
> Nasal Rinse

Toiletries:
> Soap (dr. bronners is good)
> Washrag
> Shampoo
> Conditioner
> Moisturizer
> Brush/comb
> Toothbrush and toothpaste
> Deodorant
> Razor and shave cream
> Small mirror
> Nail clipper
> Q tips
> Tissues
> Vaseline
> Waterless hand soap
> Make-up
> Panty liners
> Tampons
> Pamprin
> Hair gel
> Zip lock baggies
> Hair ties
> Single ply toilet paper

Some good foods to bring:
> Canned fruits and veggies
> Dried foods
> Instant soups (cup-o-noodles/miso)
> Beef jerky
> Summer sausage
> Crackers
> Cookies
> Pre-made, canned tuna and crackers
> Canned beer/booze
> Plastic containers of non-alcoholic drinks
> Pickles
> Peanut butter and jelly
> Boil-in-bag dinners
> MREs
> Granola bars
> Rice
> Cooking oils
> Spices
> Pasta and sauce
> Canned chicken/ham spread
> Dry cheeses
> Smoked salmon
> Hard boiled eggs
> Salami
> Condiments
> Ciabatta bread (or other sturdy, long lasting bread)

Things NOT to bring:
> Feather costumes or boas (they cause MOOP)
> Firearms
> Fireworks
> Avoid glass containers
> Nuts in their shells
> Loose glitter
> Too much fresh food/produce
> Styrofoam coolers
> A bad attitude or a closed mind
> Friends, spouses, etc. that are closed minded, whine a lot or are fragile

Recommended reading:
First Timers Guide:
http://www.burningman.com/first_timers/
Survival Guide:
http://www.burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/
Bman Tips:
http://www.burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/recommended_reading.html
Health and Safety:
http://www.burningman.com/preparation/event_survival/health_safety.html
Travel Info:
http://www.burningman.com/preparation/travel_info/index.html
Event Resources:
http://www.burningman.com/preparation/resources/index.html

Reposting An Email – Resources for DS and BM

From: Violet L
Subject: [DARKSKIES_LASVEGAS ] As requested, Take a look! 🙂
To: DARKSKIES_LASVEGAS@ yahoogroups. com
Date: Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 4:16 PM

Hey All,

I’ve had some requests to repost the links I had sent a while back so here you go. I’m not only sending the main link but also links to the specific products that I think would be most helpful for Dark Skies and Burning Man camp out needs, you’ll need to order quickly to get these in time for DS:

main link : http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ prof/key, 2lefews/

all products link: http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ Itemid,38/

ElectroFizz Cherry (think of zip fiz) http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,26/

ElectroFizz Orange http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,32/

Body Washes made with natural ingredients, so easy on the environment http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,3/ and http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,8/

Shampoo that’s easy on the environment http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,11/

Conditioner http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,12/

FuelWize to be used in your genny’s and in your cars, helps run cleaner and get better mileage (Ron loves this stuff) http://www.livinity .com/component/ option,com_ productbook/ func,detail/ id,28/

As you can see from the main product link there are a ton of things on here you can buy but I only posted what I thought could be the most useful at this time but please feel free to take a look at the other things as well. If you have any questions on any of the products please give myself or Ron a call or send us email, Violet 702-528-5248 Ron 334-0811, my email is already on here and Ron’s is ronlefew@hotmail. com.

Bye for now,

Vi

Dark Skies is a mini Burningman (so I am told)

My last entry has an update. The web site connection problems to the Dark Skies site has been cleared up. It might have been the time of day or something bizarre like that… I dunno. But they are only selling 250 tickets total and I would imagine that by now those are all gone.

Bummer they are limiting it to 250 people but I can see why. But having seen the pictures from last year posted on Tribe.Net it looks like so much fun. There are so many women going… I need more men (young men) out there to keep me amused.

One bit of good news is that my art is aparently going to be featured as the logo of the event this year. I gave them 3 concepts and the 2 not used are posted on my www.art23design.com blog.

I’ll post out the accepted one once the event is underway….

Oh… Jack Rabbit Speaks is an excellent resource for people starting off this journey. Now I found all kinds of cool stuff on Burningman.com so check it out and I will add links to my cover page as soon as I can.

Let me know if anyone is reading this?????

earningCashola

Where is the payola? ha ha ha … So as I site here and look to the future and I optimistic something good will come my way. I am just trying to get my feet on the ground and get moving forward. It’s been a slow start.

As good as my last job was I feel like I am stuck in the mud while looking back. I accomplished so much there and feel like much of the credit for those accomplishments are bigger in my head than in the real world. …ugh

Slowly I need to begin a nice job forward. yey me… sigh