So tonight I went to Saturnalia: Unbound Celebration! and as per usual the Faeboy Clan and the Comfort & Joy people created something so huge and so full of energy I left feeling that the scope of which was … stunning. So what the fuck was it about????

From Wikipedia with all their links: “Saturnalia was an ancient Roman festival in honour of the deity Saturn held on December 17 of the Julian calendar and later expanded with festivities through December 23. The holiday was celebrated with a sacrifice at the Temple of Saturn in the Roman Forum and a public banquet, followed by private gift-giving, continual partying, and a carnival atmosphere that overturned Roman social norms: gambling was permitted, and masters provided table service for their slaves.^[1] The poet Catullus called it “the best of days.”^[2] “

I went anticipating a evening of seeing people I cared about but I brought gifts of various kinds and gave of them openly who were open for it; or could accept them over duties needing to be performed.
I did shed any expectation of sexual gratification while that part seemed to be a part of the ancient rite while I went seeking connections. Now the connections I made were strong and with the help of some friendly fungus my metaphysical energies were really working at their highest levels.
I was literally shaking the first couple hours walking around or sitting with small groups not knowing what was going to happen or where the journey would let me off. I was in a roller coaster for the night and  as I type this I am not entirely sure I am off of it.
Astrologically I am a a Capricorn male with a Chinesesign of Wood Dragon; my moon sign is apparently in Gemini and yes I believe in all that stuff.
I sat in the giant hot tub and realized the thing was a conduit; the water was anyway. I found out of 6 people 2, 3 or 4 were sparking in the dusk in my vision and there was nothing I could do to stop it. While I acknowledged some of the more powerful energies present I was stunned how many of them were what I identified as females.
One had a heart light that was blinding and though she was a beautiful, naked african american woman in the jacuzzi I could barely see her features for that heart light that grew so bright; Sarah.
Another was named Loki and when I reached out to talk to her she told me she did not self identify as female and I apologized for my assumption, but a female emanation could have come from the physical perception more than the sould revealed. However, I sensed there was something about her meeting Scratch that seemed more important.
See, Scratch pulled me out of a whole earlier that night with a powerful purpose of his own; he camptured all my energy that was shooting out all over and grounded me like a live wire. I would have had to leave much earlier of not.
Thank you Scratch!!
SO i folded myself back into the seen with a mixture of people connected to the event on a spiritual level, base sexual level and others who were completely clueless beyond the buffet. As is always in a radical inclusion style event, different people add to the salad.
I did try the jacuzzi again and found myself a victim in the water. Water is a powerful conduit and the shock of being so completely open drained me quickly. I dared not seek out Scratch again for his mastery for fear of abusing that  gift. So I decided to leave with so much to be grateful for.
Sucks balls that I fell down the marble steps from the front of the house into the sidewalk on my way. Still very sore. But, I did have a LOT of the fungus in my head as well as the vodka… yeah, can work work together. I ventured alone in a direction I thought was home and eventually made it there.
Along the way there were so many souls and by then I was like a spent battery. I described my time to Bruce as being “obliterated” like at some point I was a mass of ions floating through the air drained of matter from the event. It was not until a solid meditation when I got home that I realized how supercharged I really was.
What does this mean for me? Where with my relationships go from here?
I opened myself up to a lot of people who at least acted like they understood the magic around us and ‘should’ appreciate the magnitude of what a great event does when it speaks to the right people.
About a year ago Wingheart talked about Queer Magic in gay men and I pointedly said not everyone had magic. While I still stand by that which he rejected truth is some my not have found their light yet? There were people there with light both bright and sometimes unfulfilled. Some were dark as shadows on a desert playa like ghosts. But I will say tonight I was blessed by many.
I did … miss my bf a lot and felt his absence deeply while knowing he would never have understood that night.