I was interrupted on yesterday’s posting. Not that I had that much more to do???? Anyway, I am off the next couple days, but am finishing up my shift tonight with a guy I really do not care for. I just want this night over with.

Anyway, I have been using my brain here and there trying to see the future. Usually I am better than this, but ever since coming to LV I have never been very in-tune with the spiritual side of me. In fact, I have been more removed in the last few years than ever before… in my whole life.

Cause and affect? Because I have been spiritually depraved* I am what I am and where I am in life? But, I am making more money than ever right now? Money isn;t everything, but I was raised and lived a life of ceretain excesses and dammit-Mary I want them and I want a comfortable life.

I always saw my future as being affluent. I am 40 not and feel like I am often seeing the shadowy side of the hill.. which makes me wonder if oppurtunity has drove by. Driven by, backed up, then ran my ass down in the street.

I called my buddy Ed the Topless Diva extraordinaire for his birthday, which is supposed to be 10/4 instead of 10/1 like I thought it was. I miss him so much.

Since living here I have burned through some local freindships very quickly. As transient as people are here their lives seem to be just as quickly-lived and burned out. I admit, I have a different attitude as well. I feel that if there is drama related to it I do not really want to be involved or hear about it. Which means, basically, unless you are a real freind to me I cannot invest in your issues because I have PLENTY of my own.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I had a big fall-out with two frinds here. The couple are guys we have known for like two years now. Without injecting anything that could be misunderstood (in the event this is read by one of them) I feell they are at times a little abrasive. I’m no angel, but I can be a ROYAL BITCH myself. It was B’s birthday and I feel bad this exploded during his celebration. I do not think K will aquies (sp?) so it makes me wonder how to be freinds again. I know if I wait too long the bonds will simply wither.

That or it was just meant to be … I got the sense K was venting a lot of thoughts he had been keeping to himself. Yes, I am a spoiled bi-otch. Yes, I have certain expectations out of places, people, events I attend blah blah blah.

I got dressed up for B’s birthday and we were heading to Ceasar’s to what I thought was a new restaurant at the new Augustus Tower. Turns out it was an older place in the original Ceasar’s Hotel. The place looked fancy-ish but I quickly started see that this place was nothing much more than a fancy Denny’s. It was called Fargo or something like that. The food was decent enough. The service was really bad.

I had a very good lobster there, but I also had a number of drinks. I was feeling pretty relaxed.

Anyway, they wanted to go to this bar I hate here called Goodtimes (TOILET X10). I was all set to buy everyone in our party a drink and was going to set up a tab when they told me they do not do tabs. Ugh… well, I k-vetched and subsequently alienated the bartender who got really snotty. Then K laid into me and that was it… I walked out. Walked home. And Adolfo and I did not talk for 3 days. Ugh… he was upset at me.

Nothing else I can do I guess. So, that is this my plight over the last few days. I think this entry is getting long. Boring. Oh well… Cheers!

*yes, I know it is spelled wrong.