Tom went back to the doctor today and is cming along very very very well. I am thrilled. His eyes look almost normal. We go back in a month for another e3xpensive follow up. Ugh!

Anyway, as some of you know I am back in school again. I started yesterday and I am back in the position where I do not have enough time to myself. Adolfo is already bothered by it, but understands, because this means I am not as available to him as I was. I go to school 4 days a week… two of the days we usually spend together.

It’s gunna be less than a year and the benefits will outweigh the costs; as it were.

I have to leave very soon for school tonight. I am trying to get some reading done, but I am feeling sleepy. I am getting distracted. Ugh, I gotta get back to it.

Other news: Allan is upset with me. I was talking to him last night and I wondered about something… which he took very personally. Maybe I was being too analytical? I asked him what was the beenfit of his freindship to me or him? I am thinking that I am helping this man live his life in a way that is very self-diestructive.

Now, no one KNOWS who Allan is or WHERE he is. He is a married man who works for a large, foriegn owned company. He has had very small affairs with guys, but loves his wife passionately. They are cute together.

The affair included HER nephew (an adult). It included a few other guys on his travels, but nothing really successful. He’s a dork when it comes to sexuality with men, by his admission (no personal knowledge here). Some of the stories he told me about are absurd, anyway.

He drives himself crazy because he wants to meet someone he can have casual, safe encounters with that strictly involve hand jobs and jerk-offs… whatever. I looked out there and found him a hunky escort to hire and he hired some loser from a local rag and then went to hell.

Allan gets off with his porn. There is so much more with this story that is can get very conveluted here. I asked him to make his own blog, because it would be VERY VERY VERY intersting.

BUT… I wondered what we were doing each other as freinds. He lies to the people in his life about his sexuality, his finances, his basic motives, takes his company resources, keeps these skanky people in his circle; all of whom he puts-on-airs over with to the extreme.

A couple of his “friends” keep asking him for money for this or that, co-sign a loan, bail them out of jail, fix their teeth, get them their STD prevention shots…. ugh. It’s all this mischief, this desception, this shadowy behavior that makes me sick. It’s toxic. It’s self destructive. I am more of a therapist for him than a freind.

So, I pulled back a bit. I told him I would, but Allan got very upset. I think I should pull back a while longer and see where he goes, if I ever know.

Allan: if you get this far reading this…. let’s take a break and maybe you will reconsider where and what you are doing in life. If you’re okay with it all and like the status-quo then we will evaluate that later on whether I can hang around or not. If you gorw, change, accept new ideas… then who knows.

It should be noted that Allan has lost 100 pounds of weight and is making some great changes in his life. He has less than 40 to go…. yeah!

nighty