What is it about the last couple of years where I seemingly burned a lot of bridges as if I was making some strange purge of people from my life? It started with my father and slowly it was as if I decided I no longer needed a lot of people in my life.
Some were absolutely toxic and dangerous, but some (as I look back) were left on the other side of a broken and badly damaged bridge with little to no hope of repair. I am left with SOME regrets and sadness that things were either out of context or seemed bigger at the time than they were.
Bottom line I am left behind standing pretty alone and pretty much either abandoned or standing over the bodies of the fallen.
It’s painful to think about the people that fell off my radar. There are some I loved so much and I honestly do not think the feelings are mutual.
I want to rip the skin off my body and put on another one and move on in my life as someone else. Someone better than me. Someone nicer than me. Someone who can appreciate people better than I.
On the verge of just letting go (don’t make more out of that than it is). I am looking for the reset button and looking for the path I am supposed to be on because I am stalled right now. I am literally in a hole I cannot talk about on this journal. Every day I stay in Vegas in this situation in this circumstance in this reality it is gunna get deeper.
Burned and Broken
Posted in Drama - Pass please, Things that haunt me.
Before if anyone reads this thinking I am regretting the posting on http://www.lvburners.com with the story Cancer I wrote… not.
Cameron and Melissa have nailed themselves up on a cross over this issue and played the martyr role to the “t”.
The main issue there was lost because people just put their hands over their eyes and fingers in their ears and as far as I can see… hypocritical ideals rule the day.
BUT… I miss my friendship with Melissa though she could be really angry and mean a lot. She was also an incredibly caring woman.