When things fell apart at my last place, I went to see my mom for a week while I regrouped. It was a good decision on some levels, but financially it sorta had me take a bullet.
The place I am staying at is more than I can technically afford at the moment but it means I have to hustle and get some money coming in like asap. Fortunately I have irons in the fire and with this new energy flow I hope to see some new prospects develop.
On my way to Tehachapi I had a few words with God… my guardian angel… any spirit around me pretending to be a force for my well being and renounced them all. I have just been shit on in the last couple years by forces I thought were supposed to be there for me and so I decided I was done.
I’m not an atheist now. I am more than an agnostic. I felt that “the universe” had my back but I am now the bush that the dog just sniffed and decided to leave it’s scent upon.
Fuckit… Fuckit all… I need to take a better grasp on my future and get me moving in the right direction irregardless of what I thin kGod or anything else thinks. Fuckit. Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit Fuckit …
… and all that.