Another day passes slowly into twilight and I am nearly ready for bed. I struggle to remain positive and hopeful that this move was a good idea. Not entirely sure so far.
Eddie and Diane are a blessing and an eye opener. Without saying too much, they are living lives I can and cannot relate to. Would I like to be in the same situation, no. This is because I need to feel like I am moving in life and I feel like they are not moving at my pace. I’ve always had a vision of my “identity” which I began losing a few years ago. Next thing I knew I was a ping-pong ball in a field of unclaimed goals.
I’m lost and feeling like I am losing my direction more and more. So, here I sit in Oregon. After Sam’s entry (see previous blog) I realized I was floundering in my own self pity so badly that it was producing anxiety. Odly enough, when I stopped fixating on it it seemed like the paths was starting the clear somewhat… a little less fog on the path of life.
God help me… Sam too… ha ha ha