I di dnot have much time last night to make an entry. I finally felt like I could at the end of my workshift, but ran out of time.

I ran again last night and I was awful. 3 mile run and I felt like Baby Hewey with a full diaper. Ugh…. I can run on a treadmill easily enough the same distance, but this is harder. I thought it would be a breeze, but now… Aparently the gym has not been enough for me. I cannot focus and I am not getting the steam I need.

When I lived ib Boston I found someone who would workout with me and run… it was a cool arrangement… then we ran races together. It was a good thing, as Martha says, and I miss having someone to exercie with.

My weight has been about 235 up to 240 in recent months. I looked in the mirror and saw the direction my body was going in… BARF. So, I have to be really determined over the next 6 months to turn it all around. It is not fair for me to blame Adolfo for it, because the barriers are ones that I create with his name on them.

Granted, he says he likes me for me and all that crap. I do not accept me for me… that is all I know. I know I an always be better, but how to be better is going to be new to me. Anyway, I am toddling off for ne. Maybe we’ll talk later?