Since my last submission, I am nearly 100% healed. My ASS is working perfectly now and no more limping. My toe is nearly to it’s natural color as well. If I am not careful, I may be ahealthy person soon. It is unfortunate I have been unable to make it to the gym with my commitments as well. This new schedule is hard. I took a part time job and I have been working somewhat often. PLUS I have been having to maintain my relationship with Adolfo.

This situation has been precarious lately. It makes me unsettled. We know we love each other, but sometimes you would think we just met yesterday???? Friday evening I picked Adolfo up from work. On the way to his house for a change of clothes, he informed me there was NO WAY he would be able to go on a short vacation with me in October. He is still in probation for his Bellagio job… which is cool… BUT he has not asked to see if it was possible to lose 3 days of work. Grrrrrrrrr! I know he hasn’t. I understand, but at the same time I do not understand. This is my only time I can seriously travel with him and relax because this is a school break.

For a while now I have been trying to work out a plan to take Adolfo to Disneyworld for 4 days. I figure I can work it out so we pay (together) less than 100$ for the entire trip! Well, the point is that I might as well step back and piss all over that idea. The evening went sour fast and Adolfo walked out on me. I did nto talk to him… cold silence! I went to bed ahead of him and when he did not show up I went into the living room telling Adolfo to get to bed. He suggested he leave and I told him it was up to him… (sound familiar Allan?)

Anyway, he decided he would leave and I heard the door slam. That bitch walked out on me! I put on my pajamas and went running out after him… stopped in the street and were yelling at each other. He decided he wanted to leave again and walked away. I am running up the street after him and COW to his bitchings before we walk abck. Suddenly he is crying all over and we sleep… in the mornig there was great sex to follow… anyway…

Saturday… we planned on dinner after both of us got off work. We ended up eating out at Super Mex and then off to bed with more sex… blah blah blah

NOW SUNDAY… today… I realized after work today that while we were on the way to the movies to see xXx… Adolfo said something that made me wonder if I have been duluding myself in a major way. Recently I went through a process of self analysis where I saw that my head was always in the future and not in the present… I realized I was causing myself a lot of harm by looking to the future instead of being mindful of the present. Anyway, he said something that landed right on that nerve and suddenly I was crying like a baby! It fucked up the whole night I tell you. I reviewd all the things that was in my head:

– Living Together

– Going on a Vacation

– Etc…

Well, I told him I was going to back off a bit. I wanted to know exactly what he was committed to in this relationship.. blah blah blah. So, I left thinking it was all cool. But I had this nagging feeling. SO I called Adolfo and he was crying so hard I could barly understand. I ended up going over there seeing him balled up on the floor in the dark because he thought I was breaking up with him.

Argh! I had to explain and explain. I wanted him committed and I realized that I have been deluding myself on too much lately. …

Oh crap… my sleeping pill is kicking in… I am off to bed…