I am writing after having gone to bed. I got back up because I am too wound up to sleep. So, I have some tea on the stove waiting to brew and a nibble of cranberry -orange bread waiting to go with it. This has been a tough week and it is only Tuesday. The biggest thing is that this week is Midterms in school already. Monday I have a class called Sanitation, which is all about being clean nad keep ing your kitchen clean. The test was relatively simple. Today Chef tested us on Chapter 7 of our books, but reviewed the chapters for the Midterm on Thursday. I am still clueless about what will happen tomorrow, but we will probably be tested on cutting techniques.

I also started a new part time job at a local Culinary Store. Turns out I am really working part time… really really part time. My next night on duty is a week from Thursday. Jinkies! The job is realatively simple and I thnk it will be cool. I can get some neat stuff at a bigger discount for working there.

Adolfo and I started a distressed dialog when I rrturned from Bangkok. He said he was feeling very jelous and dustressed about his own feelings about our relationship. When I asked him if he loved me he did not answer me, but he said it later on when we were talking. I think he is trying to swollow the lives we have and attempting to make sense of it. My taking off to Bangkok suddenly was no thrill for him. He babysat for me the whole week. When I came home a freind of mine named Ritcci picked me up and came inside… well, Adolfo really really does not like Ritcci for no reason I can decern. Adolfo freaked out and went home abruptly and we argued that night until somethhng like 3 am in the morning. That and these suden trips have sorta sent him into a frenzy and Adolfo asked me today to let him have some time to himself. That is, Adolfo is asking for a pause in the relationship while he works out his feelings. I support him on this decision 100% and hope we will be fine. He said he might need a week or so?

I asked Adolfo to get a mentor or someone who has their head on their shoulders. He needs someone who is good with relationships and he said he found a phychologist friend he will see… so I hope all is well. One thing I value about him is that I have been able to be 100% honest with him since we started dating again.

I started to fall asleep tonight. I started dreaming about some of the people in my Culinary class who asked me where my new cell phone was at and I panicked. I startled me so much I sprang up out of bed. You know the phone I am taolking about???? The new $500 cell phone I got. I am so paranoid about it now! I fear I will drop it out the window when I am driving somewhere! I fear that someone will run up to the car and steal it while I am talking! What the hell is wrong with me????

Yes… I am mental

Now that all that is clear. I am off to SFO this weekend. I got an e-mail from an old buddy in Boston today asking me HOW I went from begging for money on my wb site to International Man of Travel/Mystery. I did not really answer him, but then again it’s really my business. I’ve been very lucky in my life and I will simply say I got lucky once more. I met a friend who likes to travel and values some advice I gave him and he finds my company to be an asset and has taken care of me in that area. That’s all I can say about it.

Financially I am barley swinging vine to vine to keep ahead. I got the cool cell phone, but that was a gift so piss off snooty bitch. Ha ha ha… I could just hear a couple people I know folding their arms in judgement. Get over it.

Want to see my cell phone???? The link is in the previous mail entry. Go look yourself.

Ugh, I need to go to bed and sleep because I have to get up at 5:30 to get ready for school. I wear my uniform almost every day and if you want to see me in it check out the Recipes link to the left there. Gradually I will add things to it. I decided to write this tonight hoping to hopefully expell all thee things inside that are making me really anxious tonight. I am so frustrated with things in general and have been working very hard on keeping my head above water.

I was thinking about Brian today too. When I got Rick’s e-mail I realized I have not heard from Brian in a long while. I hope he is well. (Heavy Sigh) Maybe you know how long I carried the torch for him? Those are in the old old old diaries.

Goodnight peeps!